I Found Out I’m Dying (I’ve Seen The Light)

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I Found Out I’m Dying

You read right, I’m dying.

  • No I don’t have a terminal disease.
  • No I’m not fully aware of any chronic sickness I may have.
  • No I didn’t get a call from my doctor saying you have 3 more months to live.

Here’s what I do know.

Every day I become more and more conscious of what I’m meant to do here on earth and it scares the shit out of me.

Some of the quasi questions I find my ego self saying:

  • I don’t know why I’m not taking more action on it.
  • I don’t know why I’m not living it.
  • I don’t know why I’m resisting it.

Based on those kinds of questions some of the stories I come up with are:

  • Maybe it’s the responsibility it will require.
  • Maybe it’s the ridicule I’ll face from others.
  • Maybe it’s the opposition I’ll be confronted with.
  • Maybe it’s the fact of letting go of who I thought I was to begin with.
  • Maybe because I’m just afraid

All I do know is every day I don’t do what I was put here to do, I die a little bit more each day.

Have you ever felt like this?

Are you feeling like this right now?

Are you living half in half out?

Are you living in the middle?

How many more days do we let go by before we wake up and say to ourselves:

“It’s time I start running towards what I love and moving away from what I fear.“

Better Questions To Your Purpose

So how do you make that quote come alive?

Well asking myself why something is happening isn’t a very good way to start out a question to begin with.

Here’s the reason, “Why” questions generally invite you into your own stories or into excuses, explanations or justifications.

I had to ask myself where were those questions coming from anyway?

The why questions were coming from my egoic self.

The part of me that wants to keep me safe from ridicule, heart ache, embarrassment or whatever else bullshit excuses you want to pick from that keep you stuck.

So asking myself empowering questions of light would sound more like this:

  • What would need to happen in order for me to start living my purpose?
  • If I started taking action on my purpose, what would be possible?
  • Where would I need to begin?
  • What actions would I have to start taking to make it happen today?
  • What would I have to give up in order to start taking that action or step out of old patterns?
  • How would I feel about myself If I did took a specific action towards living my purpose?
  • Who has already done what I want to do and how could I get in touch with them?

By answering these questions I get far better answers. The funny thing is, on the surface it seems I’m damn near already doing what I love. However I had lost direction.

Purpose is direction…

Under the Surface

You see over the past 10 years I’ve helped a crap load of people transition from working full time jobs to working from home. More importantly I’ve had hundreds of people tell me I’ve made a positive impact on their life and how they see themselves regardless of the business we were involved in.

Some of those folks I’ve kept in touch with and have had great friendships with even though they may have stepped out and away from the main business we met because of.

I’ve found people buy people.

I believe in something bigger and people pick up on that however I had lost direction.

I’ve been living half in and half out of wanting to experience the solo-preneur lifestyle for way too long.

I’ve still found myself playing it safe.

I’ve been in the network marketing industry for 10 years with one company and only because I realized I could make a six figure income without recruiting. (Of course I ended up doing a lot of sponsoring & recruiting but I digress)

It has served me well. Very well actually and I’ve learned a lot about working from home, coaching & mentoring others, team development, B2B sales, self management etc. For all of this I am grateful

As I’ve gone through and done as much work as I have, I’ve come to the conclusion that I no longer fit in the aquarium I’m in though.

  • Job 9-5 =Fish bowl
  • Network Marketing=Aquarium
  • Solo-preneur/Self Business=The Ocean

I know I’ll get some shit for that one but fact from my perspective it’s true.

The direction isn’t as much my issue as it’s the vehicle.

I am fully aware and I have fully come to grips with it.

So What Now

There’s no reason to tell myself anymore stories of the past.

To live in the light is to live in the now. Trust yourself. The past can only exist when I’m not living fully in the present so I:

  • Make clear the new direction I’m headed in.
  • Plot the course correction.
  • Start anew today and don’t look back

So ask yourself:

What is it that you’ve been longing to do but may have felt trapped by what others may think of you?

  • If how you see yourself has changed and you know it, but you have yet to take action on actually doing anything about it, is it because of how other people perceive you?
  • Are you scared of making mistakes?
  • Maybe it won’t work out like you want?

Does any of this keep you frozen?

Screw it.

Go back to the questions of light. We already know the questions that keep you or lead you to the dark parts of your mind are always going to be there. They won’t serve you to make change today.

Perhaps you need encouragement.

Perhaps you need to get rid of attachments to stuff in life so that you are able to free up your creative energy.

Perhaps only then will we find access to our resourcefulness rather than just looking for more resources.

Perhaps purpose is only a plan away that gives you direction.

Perhaps living in your light is just a decision away.

I know I feel lighter already.

How about you?

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