Are You Grounded in The Now (5 Steps To Empower Your Presence)

Written on August 3, 2010 by tony in Personal Development
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The Benefits Of Now

Take a moment to reflect on this question: Have you ever been lost in the moment?

Can you remember what it felt like?

  • What were you doing?
  • Was it doing something you enjoyed?
  • When was the last time you had that feeling?
  • Do you remember how you created that feeling?

What if you could manufacture that feeling throughout your day?

Could you be happier more consistently?
Could you feel more accomplished?
Could you feel more fulfilled in your actions?
Could you have more energy?

Would that be of interest to you?

If so then read on to learn how it could be possible.

Being grounded in the now allows you and I to enjoy our life experiences rather than resist them. It’s a fundamental shift of working with your light instead of your darkness.

In many ways being grounded in the now allows our mind to rest and not run amuck on us.

When you’re not present your mind begins telling you stories of the past and trying to project them onto your present moments. If it goes unchecked it can creates fear, worry and anxiety.

However time stands still when you’re in the moment. There is no room for the past when you’re fully in the present and this can provide you (and those around you) with a multitude of gifts.

Some of the benefits of staying grounded in the now are:

Closer relationships -When you’re fully present with people, they feel that you’re really paying attention to them and their needs.

You’re contributing to their significance and that who they are matters. They feel connected with you when you’re fully present. Have you ever had someone looking around the room or paying attention to other things when you’re trying to have a conversation with them? How did that experience feel? I’m betting you didn’t feel important. And you certainly didn’t feel significant.

People who are conscious of influence understand this. Being present with people helps in building trust and conveying value.

Better results in your work -Imagine how much more productive and creative you could be in your job, business or career if you were fully present while doing it? Could this create more cash flow? I believe it could.

Could the act of being present impact your ability to fully engage in the tasks at hand without any distractions, worry, anxiety or fear? I bet so!

You may even find yourself taking so called business risks where before you may not have.

By not being present you allow your stories to take up residence. All you may have seen before is what worry and fear projected. This is what kept you frozen from action.

Without fear and worry present, you’re able to project onto the world what you’re present to create. (Read that again)

Some may call this being in the flow. I call it being present and it can be manufactured. I’ll share with you how.

Increased Health and Energy -Imagine how much more you could get accomplished with more energy? You could significantly reduce stress and anxiety because you’re not living in the future or the past.

Yes there are benefits to positive expectation of say, a deadline for a project, but when you experience anxiety over that deadline that’s when your energy gets sucked out like a vacuum cleaner. It’s also a clear indication you’re not living in the now.

“If you keep your attention in the body as much as possible, you will be anchored in the now. You won’t lose yourself in the external world, and you won’t lose yourself in your mind. Thoughts and emotions, fears and desires, may still be there to some extent, but they won’t take you over.”-Eckhart Tolle

So as you see you open up possibilities of:

  • Increased energy to enjoy the things in life that matter to you most
  • More access to your creativity and increased work flow which could increase your income as well
  • Healthier and happier relationships that have you feeling fulfilled and overall happier

Before we talk about accessing those benefits it’s important to understand what lies behind the theory of Now.

The Theory of Now

One of our biggest causes of suffering and pain is our attachment to the past or our expectation of the future.

It’s because we’re not present.

As a child we’re not worried about tomorrow or yesterday or even 5 minutes ago. We’re only interested in the now. Time stands still for us. Now I’m not saying we should all act like children however there are lots of important things we can learn from our childhood selves.

Think back to when you were a child.

As a child you only wanted to have have fun. Or when you were hungry you wanted to eat. Or when you were tired you just wanted to lay down. Or if you were upset you cried

You did what you felt most in the moment. This is when you were the most authentic.

  • Since then you’ve been conditioned not to show weakness
  • Since then you’ve become domesticated or hypnotized by the expectations of others such as your parents, teachers, bosses, advertisers or a spouse
  • Since then you’ve been conditioned that you have to be realistic with your expectations of others and the world around you or worse, yourself.
  • Since then you’ve been taught to have to prove yourself to the opposite sex because that’s what they do in the movies and TV

Much of this isn’t you being authentic. Much of this is you showing up in ways that are anything but you being fully present. Acting out of expectations of others (whether it’s a person or an organization) isn’t an authentic presence, it’s the shadow result of domestication.

This is when we live in fear of losing our social masks. We use our energy to keep up the image of what others expect of us. It’s nearly impossible to keep up the human lie and deny ourselves of who we actually are without taxing ourselves emotionally, spiritually and physically.

“Humans are born in truth, but we grow up believing in lies. One of the biggest lies in the story of humanity is the lie of our imperfection. It’s just a story, but we believe it, and we use the story to judge ourselves, to punish ourselves, and to justify our mistakes.“-Don Miguel Ruiz

How to Be In The Now

So how do we become more of who we really are? How do we stand in our power instead of our pain?

How do we access closer relationships, more fulfilling work and increased energy?

I have one suggestion and it compliments diet and exercise for an improved outlook on your life. If you’ve not made a practice of quieting the mind then this may be new to you and will require you making it a new habit.

Outlined below are 5 steps to quieting the mind and being in the now as a habit. Eventually it’s a way to just be. Consider it as guiding your self to a more centered and empowering self.

Here they are:

  1. Every day for the next 2 weeks make it a point to take 10 to 20 minutes first thing upon waking to be centered and really focused on your bodies inner energy.
  2. I normally start at the crown of my head and work my way down to my finger tips and then down to my toes. I become fully centered and focused in a matter of 10 minutes. You may take longer and it’s Ok. You also will probably get mind chatter but just lovingly let it go. This quiets my mind and allows my focus to just be on stillness and energy.
  3. For the first 3 days set an alarm via your watch or phone to remind you every hour to experience your bodies energy. Then after your 4th day gradually set it out for every 2 or 3 hours.
  4. Every hour you’re reminded take a few minutes or even just a moment to be centered or aware of your body and it’s energy. (It’s ironic I know, to re-mind yourself to be out of your mind and more in tune to your body)
  5. After 2 weeks notice you find yourself more consistently centered, more relaxed, less reactive and more responsive.

I know you may think it sounds nuts, but this process is no more nuts than the momentum required to drop unwanted body fat, implement a new savings plan or the momentum required to start a business.

I can’t help but acknowledge the quote again from Dan Kennedy-“Raw power (creativity) must be harnessed, organized and directed in order to create value.”

Yes this will take some effort but there are results that are just damn well worth it.

“The more consciousness you direct into the inner body, the higher its vibrational frequency becomes, much like a light that grows brighter as you turn up the dimmer switch and so increase the flow of electricity. At this higher energy level, negativity cannot affect you anymore, and you tend to attract new circumstances that reflect this higher frequency.“-Eckhart Tolle

Go Into The Now

So right now as you step away from this blog post:

1. Take a moment to focus on feeling your bodies inner energy. I don’t care if you’re at work or just at home and the kids are gong nuts in the background. Start from the top of your head down to your fingers and then down to your toes. It may take you a few minutes or it may take you more. You may hear the head chatter (your mind) but it’s Ok, just let it go.

2. Now take a minute to set your watch alarm/phone alarm or whatever you may have for 1 hour from now and in an hour just focus on your bodies healing energy for a moment. It doesn’t have to be for long, however once you’re done reset your alarm for the hour.

“Although all spiritual teachings originate from the same Source, once they become verbalized and written down they are obviously no more than collections of words-and a word is nothing but a signpost…All such teachings are signposts pointing the way back to the Source.“-Eckhart Tolle

Call me a crack pot or share with me what works for you. Either way it’s cool. I don’t consider any of this per say spiritual teaching. I just think it makes for good health. ;-)

If you don’t do this, you could run the risk of prolonged stress, more fear of what was or what will be and possibly more anxiety if you’ve been experiencing it. What could all that lead to? I’ll let you decide (That’s called your story that pops up by the way, now come back to the present)

However if you accept this gift of 2 weeks you open up possibilities of increased energy, more access to your creativity and increased work flow which could increase your income as well as healthier and happier relationships that have you feeling fulfilled and happier.

Are you willing to be present for the next 2 weeks? If so let me know in the comments below or share with me your thoughts.

Oh and be sure to share this post with your friends please. :-)

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The (My) Guide To Creating More Cash In A Challenging Economy

Written on July 26, 2010 by tony in Cash Creation
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Who Moved My Money

I will go ahead and let you know this post is a monster size post (3100 words) and you may want to take it in bite sized chunks.

If you like the post but would like it in a shorter or easier to read format let me know in the comments. I’ll probably put it into a PDF format if I get enough requests.

Ok, now on with it…

“Money doesn’t disappear in a depression, it only shifts. It usually shifts to people who educate themselves about the opportunities available, acquire the skills required, position themselves accordingly and take action on it. If someone want’s to complain about not taking responsibility for any of those steps, then shame on them, not the people they are pointing their finger at.”

Money.  It’s a subject I’ve strayed from here on the blog for a while. Ok, almost a year is more than a while but it’s making it’s official comeback.

I wrote this post because I’ve heard a more than a few people say that there just isn’t any jobs or opportunities out there to get ahead.

Ok, I may buy the job part. But lack of opportunities?

I call bullshit on that one.

The glass is always half full. ALWAYS. There is always a gift in whatever problem someone may perceive they’re having. Including an absence of money in their life.

Here’s 4 Steps to find it:

  • Educate yourself about the opportunities
  • Acquire the Skills required
  • Position yourself accordingly
  • Take Action

But first…

Stop Digging The Ditch

I bring up digging the ditch first because you have to stop digging your financial ditch. Otherwise starting a business on the side will just consume more time, money and energy. All of your resources will be consumed because no matter how much good you do, it’s canceled out by more debt and overhead. It will leave you frustrated as hell.

Let me give you an example:

I haven’t valued money…

There I said it, I haven’t valued money.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t had or created lots of money in the past but that’s where I find my real truth. I don’t have it in abundance because I didn’t value it. I kept digging the ditch.

I know why I haven’t got more money in my life. It’s not been in the top 3 of my value list since my divorce 5 years ago.

“The difference between someone who is consciously responsible is that they grow through their experience, instead of just going through it.“

The less I value money the less I keep.

I drew the line in the sand on that one.

The good news is I know there isn’t a shortage of money in the world.

For many people though, they may not know how to get to it. If that’s you this post will hopefully point you in the right direction.

For others, they may be doing all the right things to create money, but the money isn’t something that is congruent with how they see themselves.

That has everything to do with the self image. It’s why, even if someone wins the lottery, they are dead or dead broke in 5 years. The money wasn’t congruent with how they saw themselves so they got rid of it as fast as they could. Unconsciously of course.

We’re in the midst of one of the largest money transfers in history. The difference is that never before in the history of the world have you and I had an opportunity to capitalize on that transfer as individuals.

So let’s get congruent with being quite fine with lots of money.

It’s not that we lack resources to aid us in building wealth, it’s that we aren’t using our resourcefulness to it’s fullest extent. Again it’s seeing ourselves as that person who can be and is wealthy.

  • “The biggest reason people struggle financially is the lack of financial literacy. It’s why consumers are more in debt than ever before.“- Robert Kiyosaki
  • Lack of financial leverage is the biggest reason why many people don’t get ahead. It’s the whole trading time for money process that keeps them stagnant.
  • Raise your financial literacy, get out of debt and get ahead.

Lots of consumers don’t buy assets with their money. They buy liabilities instead.

If you buy a new big screen TV or a brand new car, you just purchased two brand new shiny liabilities. Why? Because they immediately depreciate in value and don’t spin off income. Those are facts that Toshiba and Honda don’t want you to know.

However if you go out and buy a 2nd home to rent out or purchase a website that’s already spinning off $1000 a month in income, you just purchased two new assets. (Considering you bought them right)

Which one do you think would assist you in getting out of debt and/or getting you into positive cash flow?

If you really want to become educated on assets vs. liabilities Robert Kiyosaki is your best bet. The book Rich Dad Poor Dad will bring you up to speed on this mindset easily. You can also visit these blogs on personal finance:

Man Vs. Debt

MoneyNing

Rich Dad Education Blog

My point is, stop digging the ditch.

Alright so with that out of the way let’s look at some opportunities to create cash.

1. Educate Yourself About the Opportunities Available

The opportunities are everywhere and I’m only going to point out a few. This is by no means a comprehensive list of all of the opportunities that are available to you and I online or offline. It’s a start and it may spark a few ideas of your own.

Opportunities

1. Social Media Consulting- Yes I know this is a buzz topic. However this could mean your consulting business owners and individuals on a local level. You could share with them the means of how to use social media to further their reach online. Coach them on how they can expand their personal/business networks via Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook just as an example. I get lots of people asking me by default how they can take advantage of social networking.

I’m no pro but I do know a little more than the average person about social media’s applications and tactics. Just the other day my barber asked me if I could help him with his Facebook group to get more business!

  • How could you scale it? -Record trainings (video) and have them turned into information products for online consumption. Or have them available for purchase at your next live event or consulting session so people have a resource to reference afterwords. Don’t just trade time for money as a consultant, re-purpose your content.

Pick up this book by Chris Brogan First: Trust Agents: Using the Web to Build Influence, Improve Reputation, and Earn Trust The (My) Guide To Creating More Cash In A Challenging Economy (Affiliate Link)

2. Blogging- There are lots of places to go with blogging but keep in mind, blogging like social media, is a media channel. You don’t actually make money from blogging. Blogging is the store front. All the money is made via the goods and services you manufacture that meets your customers needs. That’s your real business.

Sure you can make some via ads and ad-sense but you better have a lot of traffic coming to your site. Digital products like ebooks, premium membership access, paid audio programs, study courses and webinars are where many pro-bloggers are making their revenue.

  • How could you scale it?- What do you want out of your blogging business? Blogging is extremely scalable depending on how you position your blog in the beginning stages. If you’re like me and self branded or my friend David Risley it may be a bit more tricky. However it’s not impossible.
  1. Brand your blog around something you’re good at or passionate about
  2. Find a hungry market-Make sure of your target markets needs and desires
  3. Do keyword research (Affiliate link) to target your niches keywords to optimize traffic (and to make sure they are looking for what you offer)
  4. Start building your email list via aWeber (Affiliate link) immediately
  5. Get feedback from your readers via surveys, email and comments on your posts
  6. Create a product that fits your markets needs and desires
  7. Offer it to them, rinse and repeat.

Online resources:

3. Affiliate Marketing- Affiliate marketing can be incorporated into your blogging but can be a stand alone business as well. You can email affiliate offers to your blog readers list via aWeber (Ironically that’s an affiliate link fyi) as long as you’ve used the products and know it’s a value to them. But you can also set up a blog branded around the product your wanting to sell.

  • How can you scale it?- You can do affiliate marketing via eCommerce sites. Also as long as you let people know you’re an affiliate for the product, you can also do product review sites where you do a video review or a write up of the product and give a clear and objective review of it. There is no limit to the the number of both eCommerce sites and review sites that you can set up.
  • Some of the most popular affiliate sites you can sell stuff from are:
  1. Clickbank (All Digital products)
  2. Commission Junction
  3. Amazon Affiliate Program
  4. Ebay (For eCommerce sites)

4. Day Trading/Commodities Trading- Risky? Maybe. Able to be done? You bet. There is money to be made whether the market goes up or down, if you know when to buy and sell. I know this because a good friend of mine has made as much as 10k in a month and she’s still relatively new in the industry. She studies hard, loves numbers and stays committed to the process of learning and trading. It’s not for the weak at heart and isn’t terribly cheap to start but can be very rewarding and less expensive than a traditional franchise or store front.

  • How can you scale it? Say you start out with an account size of $5000. As you win trades you grow your account to a larger size. You can trade for the same amount of time and effort you did at $5000, but now you’re trading at 4x’s the amount of leverage.
  1. Start out with a minimum account size of $5000
  2. Grow your account by making winning trades
  3. Trade one “contract” and make anywhere from 0 to $1000 per trade. (You can also of course go in the negative too)
  4. Grow your account, for example to $20,000 by winning your trades
  5. Now you can trade 4x’s as many contracts and make up to $4000 a trade
  6. Two good trades a month=100k a year

Resources:

  • Emini-Academy-Chris Dunn (Not an affiliate link but I know Chris personally and have referred him business. Stand up guy and 1st class service)
  • Chris Dunn Blog-Emini Trading for Beginners- How to Day Trade Futures

5. Website Purchasing & Flipping- Just like purchasing a home you can purchase websites and flip them either for a profit, or you can be on the other end and purchase sites that spin off cash flow. When I first came online I actually did a little website flipping and even created an info product for it with a partner of mine. I know enough to be dangerous however I have a friend who turned a simple website purchase into a $15-$20,0000 a month business. And that’s just one of his sites.

  • How can you scale it? There’s no limit to the amount of sites you can purchase for cash flow, not to mention you can flip sites to your hearts content. Even developing websites just specifically for flipping. There is also a certain formula to purchasing sites that’s required in order know it’s profitable to begin with.

6. Network Marketing-One of the more conventional ways for anyone to start creating cash flow. You normally pay very little in cash up front, (Unless you buy into a position which is called front end loading) however generally you put in a lot of sweat equity upfront to off set the lack of capital invested. It’s better than not doing anything at all (or working a 2nd job) in my humble opinion and is still a viable option for many people.

  • How can you scale it? You can, recruit train and support a network of people to help you distribute the goods & services that you’re selling. The company that you’re contracted with generally distributes the goods & services, pays your team and handles compliance with state and federal agencies. Also many network marketing companies are taking advantage of the web and it’s many viral opportunities to spread their message.
  • *Keep in mind, because you don’t have the responsibility of doing any of this, you also don’t really own the business or the network. It belongs to the company you’re contracted with.

7. Mobile Market- I apologize that I’m going to be a bit general about this one. I’m not clear enough on all the details to give you but I do have enough of an idea to know it’s big. The mobile market is still in it’s infancy but make no mistake, it is going to create a ton of millionaires.

I know you may think you have to be a huge tech head to create an iphone apps for example, but you don’t. I have a good friend of mine who isn’t techie at all but knows how to hire and partner with people who are.

Sounds like Henry Ford doesn’t it? He didn’t know how to build a car but he surrounded himself with people who did. Admittedly I’m green in the mobile market but I know a big thing coming when I see it.

2. Acquiring the Skills

Becoming wealthy or well off financially isn’t really a secret. Each area above will require a specific set of skills in order to be successful. We call this specialized knowledge.

However below, I’ve brought together some generalized knowledge that I believe was helpful to me and can be very helpful to you in your journey.

1. Mindset would have to be one of the biggest keys to your success in any area you attach yourself too. Some of the best book recommendations I would start with for mindset are (And in this order):

  • How to Win Friends and Influence People
  • Think & Grow Rich
  • Psycho Cybernetics (The Revised Dan Kennedy version is amazing)
  • Learned Optimism (Advanced)

2. As far as business skills: I wish I would have grasped a better understanding of marketing a lot sooner. Looking back here are some awesome books and audio programs that I wish I would have found earlier to start the journey.

  • The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing-Al Ries & Jack Trout
  • No B.S Wealth Attraction For Entrepreneur-Dan Kennedy (Or anything by him)
  • Influence-Robert Cialdini
  • Predictably Irrational-Dan Ariely
  • Piranha Marketing System (Affiliate Link) Video Testimonial by Tim Ferris of the 4 Hour Work Week

3. Position Yourself Accordingly

Position yourself where you’re strengths and passions are, not where you see the most money.

Focusing on a topic or medium that you’re passionate about will take you farther, make you much more profitable and overall happier than just chasing the cash. I’ve chased the cash over the years and ended up not happy…Ok more like miserable. Even though I had a lot of money I was left unfulfilled and feeling trapped.

Which one of the models fits your personality best?

  • Are you an expert at something already? Branding yourself under a blog may be a way to go.
  • Not an expert yet? Sell other experts products. Affiliate marketing is a great way to start
  • Want to stay under the radar and become an online real estate mogul, buying and flipping websites can be super profitable.
  • Love numbers and already have some cash to start with? Day trading could be a worth while niche.
  • Love moving into uncharted territory, mobile marketing
  • Prefer a more person to person contact business, then look into network marketing.
  • Love social networking and already have a firm grasp on it? Teach others! Social Media consulting/training

How do you know which one fit you best? It’s the one that feels the most congruent with who you see yourself as.

I could teach you everything I know about selling and how to do it but if you don’t see yourself as someone who sells, you’ll find every way possible to trip yourself up. How you see yourself isn’t congruent with the course of action you’re taking.

Do your research and if it feels right that’s the one to shoot for.

Don’t make it any tougher than that.

4. Take Action

If you have never tackled any of this, just know you will never be 100% ready even once you’ve done your research on the subject.

You just have to pick one, research it and run with it.

Fuck fear, run towards the light.

This is what I did 10 years ago when I joined my home based business. You’ll hear of a lot of people jumping from company to company but I’m not one of them.

Over the past 10 years I’ve worked from home in the network marketing industry with one company. It’s opened a lot of inner doors as well as introduced me to a lot of awesome relationships.

I leveraged my immediate income with my personal efforts at first and then with the efforts of a team. I also will be reaping the rewards of renewal income in the near future. Everything I’ve personally sold as well as what the team has sold over the past decade will provide passive income to me. (Providing what number of memberships stay on the books)

In this case I know I’ll be rewarded handsomely for the efforts I’ve put in, even though I won’t have to put more work into it. That’s leverage. That creates lifestyle.

It also allows me to put my focus into other business models now that I find much more attractive where I feel I can make much more of an impact.

In Closing

None of this should constitute as financial advice nor should you listen to a blooming thing I have to say. That’s what sites like Man Vs. Debt is for.  It’s meant to maybe stir some shit up inside you and inspire you to realize there are lots of ways for us to not only get out of debt but make a contribution to the world while we get ahead.

There are many many other traditional offline opportunities out there to take advantage of that I haven’t even tapped into like buying and selling of gold and silver, buying and leasing real estate. Even buying, selling and renting of manufactured homes. (Yes, seriously)

I’ve stuck with mainly online stuff here because it gives us a global reach for the most part. Hopefully it will give you some insight as to what you may like to do to get out of the rut of there being no money.

Remember, the money doesn’t disappear, it just shifts!

So here is what I’m going to ask of you:

  1. What else can you add to the list that maybe you’re already taking action on and what words of wisdom can you share?
  2. Was this post helpful? If so share it with others so they realize there is a TON of opportunity out there!
  3. Leave your comments and other resources below in the comments section.
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I Found Out I’m Dying (I’ve Seen The Light)

Written on July 18, 2010 by tony in Human SEO
20 Comments - Leave a comment!
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I Found Out I’m Dying

You read right, I’m dying.

  • No I don’t have a terminal disease.
  • No I’m not fully aware of any chronic sickness I may have.
  • No I didn’t get a call from my doctor saying you have 3 more months to live.

Here’s what I do know.

Every day I become more and more conscious of what I’m meant to do here on earth and it scares the shit out of me.

Some of the quasi questions I find my ego self saying:

  • I don’t know why I’m not taking more action on it.
  • I don’t know why I’m not living it.
  • I don’t know why I’m resisting it.

Based on those kinds of questions some of the stories I come up with are:

  • Maybe it’s the responsibility it will require.
  • Maybe it’s the ridicule I’ll face from others.
  • Maybe it’s the opposition I’ll be confronted with.
  • Maybe it’s the fact of letting go of who I thought I was to begin with.
  • Maybe because I’m just afraid

All I do know is every day I don’t do what I was put here to do, I die a little bit more each day.

Have you ever felt like this?

Are you feeling like this right now?

Are you living half in half out?

Are you living in the middle?

How many more days do we let go by before we wake up and say to ourselves:

“It’s time I start running towards what I love and moving away from what I fear.“

Better Questions To Your Purpose

So how do you make that quote come alive?

Well asking myself why something is happening isn’t a very good way to start out a question to begin with.

Here’s the reason, “Why” questions generally invite you into your own stories or into excuses, explanations or justifications.

I had to ask myself where were those questions coming from anyway?

The why questions were coming from my egoic self.

The part of me that wants to keep me safe from ridicule, heart ache, embarrassment or whatever else bullshit excuses you want to pick from that keep you stuck.

So asking myself empowering questions of light would sound more like this:

  • What would need to happen in order for me to start living my purpose?
  • If I started taking action on my purpose, what would be possible?
  • Where would I need to begin?
  • What actions would I have to start taking to make it happen today?
  • What would I have to give up in order to start taking that action or step out of old patterns?
  • How would I feel about myself If I did took a specific action towards living my purpose?
  • Who has already done what I want to do and how could I get in touch with them?

By answering these questions I get far better answers. The funny thing is, on the surface it seems I’m damn near already doing what I love. However I had lost direction.

Purpose is direction…

Under the Surface

You see over the past 10 years I’ve helped a crap load of people transition from working full time jobs to working from home. More importantly I’ve had hundreds of people tell me I’ve made a positive impact on their life and how they see themselves regardless of the business we were involved in.

Some of those folks I’ve kept in touch with and have had great friendships with even though they may have stepped out and away from the main business we met because of.

I’ve found people buy people.

I believe in something bigger and people pick up on that however I had lost direction.

I’ve been living half in and half out of wanting to experience the solo-preneur lifestyle for way too long.

I’ve still found myself playing it safe.

I’ve been in the network marketing industry for 10 years with one company and only because I realized I could make a six figure income without recruiting. (Of course I ended up doing a lot of sponsoring & recruiting but I digress)

It has served me well. Very well actually and I’ve learned a lot about working from home, coaching & mentoring others, team development, B2B sales, self management etc. For all of this I am grateful

As I’ve gone through and done as much work as I have, I’ve come to the conclusion that I no longer fit in the aquarium I’m in though.

  • Job 9-5 =Fish bowl
  • Network Marketing=Aquarium
  • Solo-preneur/Self Business=The Ocean

I know I’ll get some shit for that one but fact from my perspective it’s true.

The direction isn’t as much my issue as it’s the vehicle.

I am fully aware and I have fully come to grips with it.

So What Now

There’s no reason to tell myself anymore stories of the past.

To live in the light is to live in the now. Trust yourself. The past can only exist when I’m not living fully in the present so I:

  • Make clear the new direction I’m headed in.
  • Plot the course correction.
  • Start anew today and don’t look back

So ask yourself:

What is it that you’ve been longing to do but may have felt trapped by what others may think of you?

  • If how you see yourself has changed and you know it, but you have yet to take action on actually doing anything about it, is it because of how other people perceive you?
  • Are you scared of making mistakes?
  • Maybe it won’t work out like you want?

Does any of this keep you frozen?

Screw it.

Go back to the questions of light. We already know the questions that keep you or lead you to the dark parts of your mind are always going to be there. They won’t serve you to make change today.

Perhaps you need encouragement.

Perhaps you need to get rid of attachments to stuff in life so that you are able to free up your creative energy.

Perhaps only then will we find access to our resourcefulness rather than just looking for more resources.

Perhaps purpose is only a plan away that gives you direction.

Perhaps living in your light is just a decision away.

I know I feel lighter already.

How about you?

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Why Your Will Power Won’t Work

Written on July 13, 2010 by tony in Human SEO
9 Comments - Leave a comment!

Living Life Out Loud

Have you left your shore in search of growth and contribution?

If you’re reading this I’m betting you have and you’re on the journey.

For many, they haven’t yet.

Why?

They are fearful of what others may think of them, fear of criticism, fear of looking foolish, lack self confidence etc. etc. etc…

Here’s a question you’re going to want to write down and answer if you think that’s you:

Who would you need to see yourself as in order to make the move towards your dreams?

What does your self image need to consist of?

Go ahead and write out your wish list of amazing traits.

It’s not that you’re not capable of your inspirations, it’s that you don’t see yourself as the person who can accomplish them.

This is why one would lack or lose faith in their dreams ever materializing.

They see lack within themselves:

“I would add that you may say you want to have more talent, yet for your own reasons you began to believe in your absence of talent rather than the talent you have. When you begin to know rather than doubt your talent, you will discover the necessary physical abilities to carry out your purpose.” -Wayne Dyer, Real Magic

So again I ask:

  • Who would you need to see yourself as in order to make the move towards your dreams and desires?
  • What traits would you need to acknowledge you already have?
  • What would be possible when you acknowledge these traits
  • How would they serve you in moving forward?

Why Will Power Won’t Work

I love what Dan Kennedy says about the “snap back” theory.

If you take a rubber band and stretch it with your thumb and pointer finger, then continue to stretch it past the point of what’s comfortable, that represents your will power.

Shear will power to accomplish our goals is ironically the same reason so many people fail to follow through on their goals. It’s because they aren’t congruent with how they really see themselves and the will power is impossible to sustain over long periods of time. It’s taxing I tell you.

I know, I’ve done it!

Eventually you snap back to how you really see yourself and fall back into your previous routines and habits. Your will power fails you because it’s not something sustainable.

I know I’ve failed to acknowledge how I really saw myself, what really inspired me and when I ignored both, things sucked.

The crazy thing is until I got this, I would beat up my self image up because I felt I had failed. I felt that experience magnified the totally of who I was when In fact it had nothing to do with how awesome I really am, it just had to do with how I saw myself.

“There is a difference in distinguishing between you and your mistakes (failures). Too many people destroy their self image by merging the two.”- Charleston Heston

I’ve always known that if you’re not “failing” you’re not growing (or growing your business). Failure is how we get real world feedback and gain valuable insights, wisdom and experience. There is happiness to be found failure.

However the key difference between those who can make mistakes and not tie them into their self image in a negative way and those who can’t, is consciously acknowledging our self worth is determined by how we see ourselves, not our outcomes.

Guess what that means?

You can get after whatever it is you want and not worry that your results have anything to do with just how truly awesome you are. ;-)

What are your thoughts?

Share them in the comments below!

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Playing Your Inner Game (The Science Of Self Image)

Written on July 11, 2010 by tony in Human SEO
12 Comments - Leave a comment!
biological test of the water. Soft-focused, fo...

Self Image Science

I’ve got a story about a pop-tart coming up but first…

You’re going to want to watch this video by Brenden Bruchard in order to set the stage for todays post. winning streak. (9:49)

Now if you took the time to watch the video you realize it’s pretty damn detailed. I mean it’s a blueprint for our over all success in life:

  1. You have to have a Hunger-Inspired Action
  2. You’ve got to decide to take Ownership-Accountability of your actions
  3. Decide you’re going to commit to Learning-New competencies
  4. Have Focus- Sustained Action
  5. Take the Initiative- Massive focused action plan
  6. Collaboration- Work with other people (experts)
  7. Keep yourself Accessible- How in touch are you with those you’re serving
  8. Commit to Mastery-Excellence and being the best at your something specific
  9. Have a Coach- Life coach or mentor (consistency)
  10. Always have an attitude of Gratitude- Being thankful for clients, friends, family & coaches

There’s only one problem. Hundreds of thousands of people still won’t take action on this blueprint.

Why?

Because they aren’t hungry for success?

Hardly.

Consider this for a moment. Have you ever had a thought show up in your head that sounds like this? “Gosh that’s inspiring I know what I should do now, but I still don’t do it. I mean I just don’t see how it can happen for me.”

Enter the inner critic into your thoughts.

The first stage in the Brendon Bruchard video was Hunger. -To take inspired action.

The reasons you don’t take inspired action could be you just don’t see yourself doing, being, having or deserving.

It’s your inner critic talking you right out of your desired lifestyle.

“We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.“-Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Steven Covey knew.

  1. He knew why I didn’t take consistent actions that would lead to my successes.
  2. He knew why, when I had already committed to not eating junk food anymore, why I would fire up the toaster for a pop-tart.
  3. He knew why I would say to myself with a confident and resounding, “I’m definitely going to stick to it next time.” Then next time tomorrow comes around and I would rationalize it all over again.
  4. He knew there was a key to unlocking our potential. Better yet he knew there was a key to unlocking the real me and it was found in that quote.

The Pop-Tart

I’m going to share that key, but first the pop-tart.

I know I should but…

  • I don’t get up and meditate.
  • I don’t exercise even a little every day
  • I don’t have anything healthy in the house and I eat something gross for breakfast. (Um, like a pop tart)
  • I don’t work on my home based business.
  • I don’t write everyday
  • I don’t spend more time with my spouse.
  • I don’t drink enough (or any) water
  • I don’t (Fill in the blank)
  • I don’t (Fill in the blank)
  • I don’t (Fill in the blank)

I’ll just tell you right now, not only would I have a pop tart almost every day for breakfast and was 30 lbs over weight, but I would get in my car, drive that morning to the corner store and buy my pop-tart fix. Even when I had committed not to.

Oh I wouldn’t keep them in the house. No way. I would be forced to eat them to be reminded of the broken commitment I had made just the day before.

But the next morning I would rationalize it and actually find the energy to go out and get them anyway! So how would someone who was already 30 lbs overweight find the motivation to get up, drive and buy pop-tarts for breakfast (almost everyday) but not get up and exercise?

That’s a question I never asked myself in the moment. I was too busy rationalizing. So I ended up:

  • Even more over weight
  • Having zero energy
  • Felt little to no passion
  • Felt I had no purpose
  • Was stressed out
  • Was struggling financially, spiritually & emotionally

Years ago I would have told you all of it was a result of I was focused on what I didn’t want, rather than what I did want.

There was some truth to that.

But Steven Covey knew the answer.

Now I realize my pop-tart ritual had more to do with how I saw myself. I didn’t see myself fit, healthy and energetic or even deserving of it. So my mind wondered off into other ways to make me feel good about myself immediately. Enter the Pop-Tart.

“Raw power (creativity) must be harnessed, organized and directed in order to create value.“-Dan Kennedy

It’s not the one pop-tart that could have killed me by the way. It’s the succession of pop-tarts over the course of time that could have killed me. #seriously The loop may have never stopped had I not stumbled upon this key I’m going to share with you. Many people never find their way out of this mental loop.

I didn’t see myself as deserving of a healthy and fit body. Hell I didn’t see what I was going to need one for anyway.

Eh, not good.

The Science Of Seeing Yourself

Back in 1960 there was a book published called Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.

In this book Mr. Maltz talks about our self image and how we see ourselves as one of the defining reasons why we as human beings act in ways that we do.

Mr. Maltz found that as a plastic surgeon, when he performed facial reconstruction on some of his patients he obviously helped them look normal again. Some of those people’s lives were changed. They felt good about themselves again and had an unshakable self confidence. But many people, even after he changed their physical appearance, didn’t change their perception of themselves at all. They still had lousy self confidence.

They still didn’t like what they saw…from the inside.

The power of your inner perception plays a much bigger role than you may give credit.

“Self-image psychology encompasses a person’s entire being starting with the premise that a human is by nature always moving towards their predominant view of ‘self. The basic self is never flawed as it is a God-given gift. It is what we CHOOSE to do with it that counts. We determine in large measure the course of our lives through the image we hold of ourselves. That is an extremely powerful truth.“

Yeah read that again. I dare you.

We determine in large measure the course of our lives through the image we hold of ourselves.

Yup, that’s powerful.

When your deepest goal desire is to succeed and you find yourself living at about one tenth your ability, (and you’re not even sure why) it can create depression, anxiety and low self esteem. You’re core self isn’t doing, living or being what it really wants to.

As Mr. Maltz points out, It’s like trying to sit on a bike with your feet on the pedals and it isn’t moving. Well, your ass just falls over. That would drive anyone crazy and depress the hell out of them after oh, (insert your age here) 30 something years.

This when you look up and realize you’re going through life working at a job you can’t stand that isn’t fulfilling, in a relationship that you thought would make you happy or hanging around people that don’t support your core aspirations. By god all of that can suck and you’ll keep feeling like you just keep falling over like you’re on the bike.

I believe this with every fiber of my being that I’m here for more than just existing.

We all want to contribute, to feel loved and to feel a sense of significance.  All of that comes from succeeding at things in life. I’m betting you feel the same way too.

It begins with seeing yourself succeeding in life. Moving forward towards your desired vision.

So how about positioning yourself to play the game right and in a way that you can have the best chance possible? Yeah without falling over day after day. ;-)

Conscious Creation

“Raw power (creativity) must be harnessed, organized and directed in order to create value.“-Dan Kennedy

We believe feel we have to act in ways that are congruent with how we see ourselves. It can be one of the most powerful tools as humans that we possess.

The key is are you consciously using the creativity you possess or is it unconsciously using you.

Harnessing, organizing and directing your power of creativity can be some work. But damnit, it’s worth it.

  1. So what would have to happen for you to see yourself healthy, fit, vibrant, creative, abundant, deserving? (Or insert desired outcome here ___________)
  • -You would have to take the time to write out and design the picture of your desire on paper and then see it and play it back in your mind every day. Practice it and rehearse it.
  1. What would you have to believe about yourself in order be consistent in your actions towards fulfilling that picture?
  • -I’d say believe that you ARE a creative being. You already possess the creativity it takes to paint the perfect lifestyle for your true core self.

Look I was creative rationalizing why I needed to go get a pop-tart everyday and I was pretty damn good at it.

From my perspective I’ve found that people are creative in justifying succeeding the pictures in their mind everyday. It’s just a matter of if you are consciously directing those thoughts or not towards a clear picture of what you want.

Would you prefer to see yourself accomplishing whatever lifestyle, achievement or goal you’ve had awaiting in the back of your mind or have you let your inner critic talk you out of it?

Would you like to silence your inner critic and tell it to shut the fuck up so you can get to really living a life? Or would you prefer thinking the life you desire is out of your reach per your inner critic?

Close this post if it’s the latter. Keep reading otherwise…

Playing Your Inner Game

Seeing what you want before you perform the actions is a significant part of building our inner empire. It’s the ability to build your self confidence even before you take the first step. You do this through what’s called visualization or as Maxwell Maltz called it, your theater of the mind. This is known as a synthetic experience.

I learned the same technique from Brian Klemmar years ago called screen of the mind, where you write direct and star in your own life movie scene by scene. Programming yourself for success.

Did you ever day dream as a kid?

It’s the same thing. Except back then you and I used to do it automatically. No one had to label it for us. My imagination ran wild. Did yours?

As I got older I became programmed by adults to be realistic. I was told that I should have a plan B in case my passions didn’t work out. Too many of us become domesticated by parents, teachers, professors and friends who say they are just watching out for us.

You’ve got to get after building your inner empire. You’ve got to get after playing your inner game.

If you can see yourself doing, having, being or deserving once, just rehearse it over and over in your mind every day.

See how you would perform under pressure at the last minute during a game.

Or see how you want a conversation to go that you’ve been dreading having with a boss, spouse or co-worker.

Before you may have gotten baffled, tongue tied or broke into a cold sweat just  thinking about a confrontational conversation. But now you can go inside your theater of mind and see yourself having the conversation beforehand. Seeing yourself calmly handling it, saying precisely what is on your mind and in a way that you’re taken seriously. You’re confident in your words and your posture. You handle objections with ease and without anxiety.

How about that for a change?

This exercise can create real self confidence that you may be lacking so that you can do, be, have or believe that you deserve.

Sound cheesy?

Pro athletes do it everyday in their careers.

Tell Michael Jordan, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Joe Montana visualization doesn’t work. They will tell you it was a critical key to their success. Just as much as the hours of practice, diet and exercise were.

If you’re inspired to do and be all that you’re capable of are you ready to take the actionable steps required to have those feelings of success?

You’ll need to make sure you know you’re winning.

Knowing You’re Winning

A key to your growing self confidence is seeing and experiencing measurable accomplishments.

Not only can you see yourself having more of what you want internally, but physically measuring your successes everyday catapults you towards that vision.

“Raw power (creativity) must be harnessed, organized and directed in order to create value.“-Dan Kennedy

When you clearly see in your mind what you want, you’re able to silence your inner critic and start taking action towards what you want, you’re going to need to measure your daily success so that you see you’re experiencing results in the real world.

You don’t want foo foo results. I’m talking measurable results.

Here’s two examples of why:

1. Health -When I found myself overweight (and couldn’t see myself that way any longer ironically) I finally decided to do something about it. I entered a workout contest where I had a definite deadline, a game plan and measured my results along the way. One thing I did that really kept me on track was I took a picture of myself in just my shorts from day one. (Scary let me tell ya) I got to see it all without hiding behind clothes. That was the truth set in.

However each week I kept taking pictures of my progress, and thank god I did.

I finally looked at my pictures at day 30 and was astounded by the results.

If I hadn’t seen that picture at day 30 (and compared it to day 1) I probably would have quit.

Why?

Because it didn’t seem as if I was making much progress at all. I still saw myself as fat. My inner critic was on loud speaker telling me I was wasting my time getting up early, preparing my food the night before and drinking all that water. All I seemed to be getting out of it was frequent flyer miles to the bathroom.

However from day 30 and on I planned, I tracked and I measured my results. I was inspired to keep on track doing what I was doing.

2. Financial -In my network marketing business I would take account of my daily actions. I would mark down everyday if I accomplished the revenue producing activities that lead to my income goals.

I had a list of 10 things a day that I could control the output of activity on and I would check off if I did it everyday. Every 30 days I would come up fro review.

If I didn’t have the results it was for one of two reasons. Either I didn’t do it right or I didn’t do it enough. Both of which were measurable because I tracked them.

This kept me on track many times when I felt I wasn’t making progress.

I was not only able to do this for myself but also for my team so they were able to stay on track and not become disappointed when they didn’t see immediate results. This helped with the team sticking to their decision to start a business.

Measurable and Actionable

So here is where the rubber meets the road.

If you made it through this mammoth post then your mission if you should accept it, is to take some action.

Simple action:

  1. Is there something you’ve been procrastinating on that you’ve not seen yourself doing because of (Insert bullshit reason here but realize it’s just your inner critic trying to master your self image)
  2. What is it you want to do, be, have, or feel you deserve?
  3. Map out how you can get it.
  4. Will you commit to seeing yourself accomplishing it everyday through visualization?
  5. Is there a way you can measure your success either by taking pictures along the way, keeping track of daily activities via logging in a journal or both?
  6. Will you find someone to share it with who will support you?

If you choose leave your feedback in the comments below.

Our self image is so important. How you see yourself completely impacts the choices you will make or if you will make them at all. Not to mention the quality of our lives and those we come in contact with are completely impacted by how we see ourselves.

Be sure to share this post with someone and if you feel it resonates with you leave your comments below. I’d love your opinion on the subject.

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