When I first got online I couldn’t figure out what my lead attraction problem was and then I discovered it…and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
From the Podcast:
In today’s Episode, I just wanted to share a powerful concept I myself practiced for some time before I finally grew conscious of and tired of its natural, PAINFUL, consequences.
You see, I attracted in my business what I myself practiced…
…and not everything I practiced is what I wanted my clients to demonstrate.
I’ve experienced it all…because I’ve done it all:
1) STAND PEOPLE UP FOR CALLS – Don’t be terribly offended when your prospects don’t follow through on their word either.
2) TRY TO HAGGLE FOR THE BEST PRICE? – Don’t be surprised when your prospects try to haggle with you for “the best price.”
3) JUST WANT INFORMATION? Show up to strategy calls with the soul purpose of just “gaining clarity” or “just gathering information?” – Don’t be surprised when your prospects walk away from your calls with the same intent (and never buy)
I have dealt with the Karma of these situations because I’m guilty of them myself in the past…
…and not in this coaching & expert industry btw, but in prior industries.
We’re talking deep seeded 20-year-old behaviors I demonstrated when first getting in sales.
To this day, it’s why I read material that grows me as a person and expands my mind.
I had no idea how much shame and negative energy I carried around for years…
..Until I did the work around it.
But I’m not ashamed of my behavior today….
…at one time I was.
Once I became conscious of my behaviors, I made them mean something about myself…
I felt as if I was stealing from people…and I was.
I was stealing their time.
Guilt is holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort. Per Brene Brown…it’s actually helpful.
Brene Brown also defines shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and, therefore, unworthy of love and belonging.
Once I became aware of these definitions, I had to stop and confront the stories I was telling myself around my own deservingness and whether or not I felt I belonged in this space.
My core belief…otherwise know as the story I would tell myself every moment of every day…
…was…I wasn’t important and I wasn’t needed.
And, therefore, how could anyone value me. (i.e. my gifts & talents)
And don’t think this didn’t affect me in the other areas of my life such as my finances, my relationships, and my health…because it did.
Distinction 1) I was seeking validation through my prospects decision to invest. I used their “yes” as a measure of success and on a deeper level…self-worth.
This, of course, did nothing but erode my self-confidence every time someone said no.
Distinction 2) I later looked back and realized I received validation (and a sense of pride) BECAUSE clients got great results. How do I know?
They TOLD me so…Plus I could SEE their tangible results.
So I made getting my clients massive results a priority.
You see, I confused my gifts & natural talents as a major part of my identity….
…and if someone said no to me helping them, then I must not be important and therefore not needed…and would be all alone.
You see experts expect to be acknowledged & paid for their gifts & talents…
But that’s not how it really works…
The truth is the more you communicate what your prospects are missing, and acknowledge you can help them get, get rid of or keep something they deem a priority…the less you need to talk about YOU.
And THATS where you get paid.
You get paid for the facilitation, not the information.
Distinction 3) The more I only invited people forward who were already winning, the easier it was to get them bigger wins.
AND the better I felt about myself and my choices.
I offer no other solution to these behaviors at this time other than awareness of your own current approach to growing your business.
Simply ask, are my behaviors congruent with what I want to attract as a client?
Or, “Am I building a business congruent with the lifestyle and/or mission I want?”