Seeking From Life
My intention with this post today is to give you a new perspective on consistency and fulfillment in life. Not only from my experiences but from my mistakes.
At the end of this post I’ll outline steps you can take today begin to think bigger and act bolder because you will see how your past can serve you in leading a more fulfilling life today, no matter what your circumstances have been.
“How much we get out of life could very well be determined by how much we’re willing to give of ourselves to a particular cause or purpose.”
Just how big a cause you’re willing to give yourself to, can determine how much you get back in the way of good feelings such as contribution and fulfillment. So what we contribute our lives to can determine the quality of happiness we experience on an everyday basis.
Yes, even if those moments are temporary. Hence why I think it’s called the pursuit of happiness.
I’ve discovered for myself that nothing lasts forever including the feelings I get from contribution. When you stop contributing, your feelings that you gain from the act of contributing disappear eventually too.
The opposite is also true.
Why would someone not contribute themselves to something greater and only sit and hope things get better, or flat out complain about it?
Because they are looking for permanent moments that make them feel good with the least amount of effort, if any. By burying themselves in TV, fast food and financial quick fixes they provide themselves temporary feelings of distraction and hope. It feels good in the moment.
Oh yeah and did I mention it’s also temporary, so they have to do more of it. (Even if that more is doing nothing different)
I know because I’ve done it. When your intention is to extract from life without adding value first, your permanently temporary moments become empty, unsatisfying and unfulfilled.
When your intentions are to add value first (contribution) your permanently temporary moments become fulfilling, satisfying and addicting. You feel full and completely for the moment and therefore you wish to contribute more. (Ironically you also increase you chances of abundance)
I mean nothing lasts for ever, right?
So why on earth would someone like myself seek permanent moments of bliss with quick fixes? I mean I’d have to be pretty consistent about my lack of action and participation in something greater than myself right? And even that is quite an accomplishment. I mean at least I’m consistent at something right?
Because I was living in an illusion. I used to think I could just extract value from the world, I’d feel wonderful and never have to add value to it. I used to think I didn’t have any value to add to the world in the way of personal gifts and talents.
What a load of bullshit right?
We all have talents and gifts to give to the world. Even if that means we find the positive in the supposed negative shit that we’ve experienced in life.
The key thing about life is that everything and I mean everything is permanently temporary.
As one of my mentor’s says:
“Everything in life is temporary, that’s a warning to the rich and hope to the poor.“
What I’ve picked up on is so many people want to believe in the illusion that moments in life can be permanent and they do their best to invest in that illusion everyday through vainer (surface level) lifestyles.
Everything in this lifetime is temporary including the feelings of contribution and of feeling unfulfilled.
But there is a choice you can make today to begin to feel feelings of contribution and fulfillment consistently.
Your choice is to be a value adder or value extractor.
Giving To Life
If extracting value from life means taking, taking, taking and hoping things change. Then the act of adding value is to give give give.
I don’t just mean giving blindly either.
What I mean is by giving purposely, consciously and strategically through providing solutions, ideas, concepts and tools that people can use to make shifts in their perceptions and improve the quality of their lives.
“But Tony, what do I have to give? Nothing I have matters.”
Martin Luther King had a dream that turned into an idea. Do you think that mattered?
He wasn’t just thinking of himself. (Although he did say “I” have a dream) He was thinking of contributing to something greater than himself. An idea. When you stand for an idea that people can believe in, it transcends the man or woman and becomes something far greater.
Add value to the world rather than trying to extract it. This will change your life.
Making Moments That Matter
Making moments that matter starts today.
If you want to change the game you’re playing, here is where it starts.
Making moments starts with you deciding you’re a value adder and not just a value extractor. A value extractors permanently temporary moments are unfulfilling and full of the empty calories of life. This leads to sluggishness and without the ability to really engage life with your full force.
Start asking quality questions and consuming ideas that nourish your soul, your creativity and your potential.
Start identifying your value points:
1. Write down all of the valuable qualities about you. All of your qualities serve you in some way, even the ones you may perceive as negative. If you have a hard time coming up with many, ask someone close to you to point out all of qualities about you they see. Or ask them, “When you see me at my best, what 3 words come to mind and when you’ve seen me at my worst, what 3 words come to mind?” Remember there is a gift even in the negative qualities.
2. Write down all of the valuable experiences you’ve have in life. This could be what you perceive as failures too. What did you learn from these so called failures? This makes up all of you. ALL of your experiences are valuable to those you will end up crossing paths with who are going through the same experiences you have. Start with your experiences from childhood and work your way up to the present moment.When you write down those experiences, next to each one write out what you learned from that experience. How did you change in some way that served you?
3. Write down all of your ideas, no matter how crazy you think they are, about how you would like to add value to the world around you. I’m giving you permission to dream out loud here. And I mean really dream a bigger fucking picture. I don’t care if it’s creating a bake caking business to world peace. Think big damnit.
4. Now match your qualities (positive and negative) and your past experiences (Successes and failures) with how they can contribute to you accomplishing that bigger picture. When you take the time to do this exercise and I mean really do it, you’ll be surprised at how things match up and how your past can assist you in being a value adder to the world.
I’ll give you an example of how your so called negative qualities can serve you in this exercise. Stubbornness is a quality and yes I’m quite stubborn at times. Like, really hard headed about some things. That stubbornness serves me in my ability to stay on task in my business despite the challenges I encounter.
What could be perceived as stubborn is also persistence in disguise.
However stubbornness isn’t a quality that always serves some of my personal relationships. How do your qualities serve your bigger picture and how may they harm your bigger picture?
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