The Absence of Fear (The Myth and the Meaning)

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The Myth

Have you ever wondered how successful people do it?

You know, how it seems they have no fear of failure, they don’t suck at anything and that they seem have an absence of fear altogether.

Well the good news is success is not elusive and just out of your reach.

Mainly this post is in tandem of working on my newest manifesto and book. Blogging is one thing but when you put your name on a book that you charge for, some weird shit really starts happening in your head.

Ok, well at least mine.

Have you wondered how the people I mentioned either believe in themselves, seem to get lucky or seem to have no fear in order to get what they want and they actually do become successful?

Well I’d say you got two out of 3 right.

  1. They probably do believe in either themselves or if not the purpose behind their projects.
  2. I’d say there are some serendipitous moments where some luck & timing are involved in the success. (More to it than that really)
  3. The no fear part, yeah that one is complete bullshit.

Belief in Themselves

A person has to have a certain amount of belief in themselves and if not in themselves maybe it’s the belief in their projects purpose. Does that mean they aren’t fearful of bombing? No way.

They did it anyway because the fear of not knowing is greater than the fear of knowing the outcome if they don’t at least give it a shot.

Lots of so called successes were fearful and did it anyway.

And there is a reason. (More on that in a minute)

Luck or Serendipity

I don’t really believe in luck. However preparing for luck has it’s advantages. These successful people had to put themselves in the path of luck or timing for either to even have a chance of being involved. That took effort, action and doing it anyway.

The old quote holds true:

Luck is nothing more than when preparation meets opportunity.

No Fear

The one thing that doesn’t ring true is the “I have no fear“mantra.

If you’re saying to yourself, “Tony, I’m seriously not afraid of putting myself out there for hundreds or thousands of people to critique,” then great.  After you pick your knuckles up off the ground and  you’re done beating on your chest let me know.

Everyone has fears of their stuff bombing.

Including me and everyone else doing this online/offline business thing. With every blog post I’m putting myself on the line and wondering, “damn, should I really push publish?

Ask just about anyone who has done this whole online thing up to this point and has had any reasonable success.

“If you’re not failing every now and then it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”-Woody Allan

Online Information Marketing Fear

One of the biggest recurring themes I read or hear are these successful people being afraid of their stuff not going over worth a damn with their audience.

With online marketing and information products you can do a lot of research prior to putting your own product together to make sure people are looking for it & buying already.

  • There’s keyword research (Search terms)
  • Who is your crowd?
  • What are their needs & wants?
  • Are there enough people looking for what you have? (Search volume)
  • Is this is a buying crowd? (Are they spending money)
  • Where are they hanging out online? (forums, other blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Etc)
  • How will you connect & engage with them?

Even with knowing all of these answers and knowing you’re on target with with the value you’re offering, it’s still scary as shit putting yourself out there.

What Fear is For

But then there is a realization of what fear is there for and how you can harness it.

We need to avoid pain, and we desire pleasure. Using both is being intelligent. Pretending you’re happy when you’re not is crazy.“-Tony Robbins

I like how he says using both is intelligent. Being conscious of your fear and using it purposely has got to be an exciting thought.

Fear can drive you if understand how to harness it correctly.

It’s what gives some people purpose in the beginning.

  • The fear of being broke
  • The fear of their message not being heard
  • The fear of not contributing to others
  • The fear of staying stuck in a 9-5

These are all valid fears that can be motivators for us to take action.

To avoid the end pain of being broke, to avoid the pain of laying in on our death bed without sharing or expressing your gifts and to avoid the pain of staying in a 9-5 you can use those fears to take action.

Use that fear to drive your activities like:

  1. Start a home based or online business. Get educated and create leverage!
  2. Expressing yourself whether it’s as a musician, a comedian, a solo-preneur or artist. Whatever juices you!
  3. Create a product or service that allows you to contribute your gifts & talents
  4. Initiate a plan to work yourself out of your 9-5 (Go back to step 1)

Believe me, the last thing you’ll say on your death bed is, “Man, I wish I would have worked that extra few hours of overtime at work back in ’09.”

The Absence of Fear Is A Myth

The fact is this, until you get OK with being fearful and embrace it, you’ll stay stuck with a multitude of excuses and stories why you can’t do what it is that really juices you.

I’ve done it countless times even up till probably yesterday. Hell I bet I did it today as I was writing this.

I’ve paid to have someone tell me this time and time again over the years in seminars, books, audio programs etc. (And you get it for free 🙂 )

Doubts and fears are normal can be used as a catalyst to achieve what you truly desire.

Let me give you an example:

When my great aunt, who also raised me along with my great grand parents, told me as a young 13 year old that I wouldn’t amount to shit when it came to “playing that damn heavy metal,” I used it as a catalyst.

  • There was no way in hell I wasn’t going to live my passion (Desired pleasure)
  • I wasn’t in any way going to give her the satisfaction of me not accomplishing my passion. (Pain avoidance)

I slept on the street a few nights with $500 in my shoe to make it happen but damnit I had some reasonable success touring Europe with Cynic in ’93 and recording on a internationally recognized CD. I even remember sleeping in the Storage unit of our band practice space and my friend Kevin opening it and unlocking it the next morning. I did whatever it took.

My mantra today is:

There is no such thing as failure only feedback.

You can accomplish whatever you desire however you’re going to have to be ok with the bumps and bruises that come along the way. Use it as important feedback to getting better.

Do you think everyone’s first Blog post, ebook, free report, video series or whatever else you point to goes over amazingly well online?


If it does it’s because you didn’t see the years of paying the price before they did it.

There is no fixing your fear in my opinion, only loving what is. You can only come to terms with your fears, which ironically  is what dissolves them. Fear can be your biggest friend or enemy. It’s your choice.

Is there something you want to accomplish, start or do that fear and your stories have you not doing it?

If you have the courage to say yes, what are you going to do about it and how can I help?

Post your comments below, then share this post with someone and empower them.

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