When Zen Meets A Critic
So I post a quote on Facebook the other day:
“Everyday is like a handful of clay, mold make it & shape it.”-Me
I give myself credit for it at the end and I get some great feedback from people as I usually do. Here is one I got which I found interesting and am sharing for a good reason.
“You’ve got good quotes but it’s extremely tacky to quote yourself like that man..”
Critics are plentiful with their opinions.
If you’re not familiar I actually come up wit a lot of quotes or chunks of insight from time to time that I share on Twitter, Facebook and even here at TonyTeegarden Dot com. I quote them and I sign them with (-Me) at the end of them.
I had a hard time originally giving myself credit for these quotes. Lots of stuff going on inside like:
- Who am I to give myself credit like this publicly?
- Will I come off as conceded?
- Do I need to give myself credit because of low self esteem?
- Will this be a reflection of my ego?
- Etc..etc..
You get the idea.
Bottom line I was asking myself bad questions.
Then I came across this below which got me to ask myself a lot better questions:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.-Marianne Williamson
Asking Better Questions
So I asked myself better questions and here is just a little of what I came up with.
- Who am I NOT to give myself credit?
- What kind of example do I portray by playing small?
- Who could I inspire by showing I am not afraid to give myself credit for these nuggets of wisdom?
I could go on but you get the point.
There are always going to be critics no matter what kind of light you attempt to shed on peoples lives. There are always going to be someone projecting their beliefs onto you.
Truly I believe the individual was projecting his fear of light onto me. I admit my ego flared up and I had a few words I would have liked to share with him of which I of course let go of. I replied:
….and then I thought, am I playing small If I don’t? Am I scared of my light? Do I not think that much of myself? Very interesting conversation I had with myself.
Quite frankly my friend I’d like to believe:
-I shed a lot more light in peoples lives,
-help inspire them to believe in themselves,
-inspire them to give themselves credit,
-and inspire them to touch other people lives more by giving myself credit. (Being an example)
It doesn’t matter what you do, you’re going to have critics and their opinions are going to be plentiful.
I heard it said best once:
“If someone doesn’t have the lifestyle you desire (physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially) or they do but aren’t willing to share with you how they did it, don’t listen to their opinion.”-Russell Bly
Remember critics are simply giving you their opinion which is based around their beliefs. They are just that, opinions. Even if it’s their professional opinion, take it all with a grain of salt and question it.
My good friend David Risley posted a guest post on his blog by Frank Angleone on 10 Tips for Overcoming Critics to Build Your Business. It’s of universal strategies & tips for anyone looking to break out of the box in business or in life.
What about you? How do you deal with Critics?
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I try to think about what they say. Sometimes not easy if they hit a nerve.
It at least gives me information about how I’m perceived – it may be that my intention was misunderstood.
When it’s a simple values clash I try to state the disagreement. People can find this offensive – they identify with their opinions and beliefs – but I try to only attack the assertions never the person.
I usually try to find agreement – not always possible.
I try to think about what they say. Sometimes not easy if they hit a nerve.
It at least gives me information about how I’m perceived – it may be that my intention was misunderstood.
When it’s a simple values clash I try to state the disagreement. People can find this offensive – they identify with their opinions and beliefs – but I try to only attack the assertions never the person.
I usually try to find agreement – not always possible.
As to David’s post. I think everything he says is true. However, I have found that the overwhelming majority of commenters and people in the blogosphere are supportive. The number of critics is small and the nastier ones are fewer again.
As to David’s post. I think everything he says is true. However, I have found that the overwhelming majority of commenters and people in the blogosphere are supportive. The number of critics is small and the nastier ones are fewer again.
Yes Evan I agree, I had to step back from any emotion and see if there was a legitimate point there. Same point on making sure I never attack the person, only point out the actions. There are lots of people that are overwhelmingly supportive amount of people in the world. Why they don’t shed more of their light I’m not sure, but I figured in a small way in may inspire someone to do just that. thanks for contributing my friend!
Yes Evan I agree, I had to step back from any emotion and see if there was a legitimate point there. Same point on making sure I never attack the person, only point out the actions. There are lots of people that are overwhelmingly supportive amount of people in the world. Why they don’t shed more of their light I’m not sure, but I figured in a small way in may inspire someone to do just that. thanks for contributing my friend!
Funny Tony because I actually saw that post on FB and thought it was GREAT! I have a lot of friends on FB who either initals their name or does it the same as you which is “me.” I think both ways are good. It ultimately depends on YOU.
I haven’t had so MUCH critic lately but one incident was someone (very close friend of mine) have been reading my blog and suddenly said, “Oh I would be too afraid to be considered spiritual guru or anything” kinda commenting on what I’m doing. What was weird was that I really had no thoughts or feelings to what he was saying. I have been #1 Focus on one thing with my blog I call her “Oasis” which was to pass LOVE and thats it. I think I have done that. And if I have given to his opinion the conversation would have been endless and no point. I love what Albert Einstein once said, “”Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.” Do as YOU wish Tony. Next time I’ll be there to comment next to your epic quotes and say “I love your quote keep it Up my friend”
Yours in True Abundance
Funny Tony because I actually saw that post on FB and thought it was GREAT! I have a lot of friends on FB who either initals their name or does it the same as you which is “me.” I think both ways are good. It ultimately depends on YOU.
I haven’t had so MUCH critic lately but one incident was someone (very close friend of mine) have been reading my blog and suddenly said, “Oh I would be too afraid to be considered spiritual guru or anything” kinda commenting on what I’m doing. What was weird was that I really had no thoughts or feelings to what he was saying. I have been #1 Focus on one thing with my blog I call her “Oasis” which was to pass LOVE and thats it. I think I have done that. And if I have given to his opinion the conversation would have been endless and no point. I love what Albert Einstein once said, “”Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.” Do as YOU wish Tony. Next time I’ll be there to comment next to your epic quotes and say “I love your quote keep it Up my friend”
Yours in True Abundance
Thanks Therese! So glad you wrote a response. I have a pretty interesting post coming out about spiritual gurus’ or guru’s in general. It’s probably going to be unlike anything I’ve posted here. It shall be interesting needless to say. The zen way is to question everything. Including the guru. 🙂
I always appreciate your support Therese.Thank you for living your truth my light working friend 🙂
Thanks Therese! So glad you wrote a response. I have a pretty interesting post coming out about spiritual gurus’ or guru’s in general. It’s probably going to be unlike anything I’ve posted here. It shall be interesting needless to say. The zen way is to question everything. Including the guru. 🙂
I always appreciate your support Therese.Thank you for living your truth my light working friend 🙂