When Do You Feel The Most Authentic
Living authentically probably isn’t the most popular thing to write about but It sure does feel right to me. Matter of fact that’s what living authentically is about in my opinion. It feels good of course but mostly it feels right.
This post was inspired by a tweet I saw from @unmarketing on twitter yesterday as well as a video I saw him shoot for a new course he came out with.
“RT @unmarketing: Never change ur tweets (or ur life) cause someone doesn’t like it. Be you, the right ppl will stick around.”
Obviously this is a good philosophy to not only live by in your social media world but in your life period. How many times do you think our ego gets wrapped up in living a life or a lifestyle that isn’t really what we feel is authentic?
How many times do you think people around you are living a life they secretly despise but attempt to keep up because it’s the status quot?
When do you feel the most authentic? If you haven’t given much thought to it maybe it’s time to do just that.
What Does It Mean to Feel Authentic
One of the most interesting individuals to me lately is Steve Pavlina. Last night I watched his newest post on creating abundance. It’s 4 videos that tap into some very un-talked about subjects in regards to abundance. I’ve always read Steve’s blog and his book Personal Development for Smart People but since his talk of multiple intimate relationships publicly I found myself not connecting with his messages and steering away from him. (Unconsciously)
Because of the work I’ll share with you in a second I’ve opened myself to really understand the message he’s sharing lately is all about living authentically regardless if I agree with his personal choices or not. (Yes I love when the universe talks and I actually listen)
Now right around the end of Video 3 and video 4 I came into a lot of resistance naturally as he discusses abundance and our resistance to change by referencing the change he’s going through with his wife and multiple intimate relationships. However I became conscious of my resistance and embraced the shadow that started to show itself. This is when mental and emotional doors opened.
It’s nearly impossible to accept a message if you’re in resistance to the messenger. Chances are the deeper in resistance you are the more you should embrace what you’re resisting in order to find the message that is there for you. This is in relation to the shadow work I’ve been doing and has helped me stop resisting much of what persisted in my life. Lots of it has stop persisting too, imagine that. ๐
Anyway I suggest you watching his 4 videos on creating abundance.
How Do You Know You Feel Authentic
Chances are it’s a lot easier for people to identify when they aren’t feeling authentic as apposed to knowing they are. You’re every day choices lead to your every day story about love, sex & money. Then look at your life right now. You’ll see what you’re committed to. You generally know when you’re making choices that empower you to your end desired result. It’s when we aren’t conscious that tends to be the problem.
You generally feel you are on purpose and find great joy in every day activities. You bounce out of bed instead of dread getting out of bed. I’ve been in and out of purpose at times in my life. Swayed by others some times and dismayed by my own lack of self esteem at others. I remember in 1995 getting a copy of Real Magic by Wayne Dyer and reading the 3 ways people generally live their lives:
- Living through suffering
- Living through outcome
- Living on purpose
I see every day a reflection of my own lack self in so many other people. People making choices that re-purposes their problems over and overย in life. Making the same choices and expecting different results. They are addicted to suffering like they are to the fatty carbs in a Big Mac and the nicotine in a cigarette. I resisted and judged these individuals deeply. Feeling my self righteous self dominate (My ego) and judge them.
When I finally realized I was projecting my weakness on these individuals (Like I did with Steve Pavlina’s intimacy choices) they no longer held the same resistance to me. The energy shifted. Just like Steve’s message of abundance was able to shift within me and the level of conscious vibrationย shot through the roof.
I’ve lived through outcome much of my later years and as a young adult. Status, goals, deadlines and outward appearances where everything. It’s better than living through suffering but does come with it’s baggage as well. I’m still aware of it today but I don’t hold it in the same light as when it was a shadow I ignored. I choose to shed light on it even now as I write this.
Hell I just wrote a post about pulverizing procrastination and the first step is deadlines lol.
I’m shifting into living on purpose as we speak. It’s a searching that has always lead a good portion ofย my life. My right brain self continues to desire creativity, expression and big thinking. My purpose starts with this blog I feel.
My thoughts are through sharing my insight, transparency and authenticity I inspire people to take a similar path or one that feels authentic to them. Meaning it feels good and that resonates through you all day like sharing here does for me. It just feels right.
These simple 3 steps brought to light to me that conscious every day living could be a choice rather than a fluke, mistake or luck. I was able to start living more authentically because I was moving towards my purpose now rather than through suffering or outcome.
All the “stuff” we want like money, cars and relationships comes naturally and we find less attachment to them when living through purpose. At least that’s what I’m finding.
Benefits Of Living Authentically
It probably goes with out saying what some of the benefits of living authentically are but let’s just say for the sake of conversation we put some out there and you add to them.
- Less stress
- Increased Health & Well Being
- Deeper relationships
- Greater joy in every day living-It’s true. When you love what you do you never work another day in your life!
- (Insert your benefits here)
Cost of Not Living Authentically & Why
I believe there is a huge amount of stress we carry around either consciously or subconsciously when we’re not living authentically. It’s why the biggest day for heart attacks is on a Monday. The vast majority of people generally hate what they do for a living.ย They aren’t living the life they envisioned when they were a child. They are in total resistance of doing their everyday mundane job because they don’t feel authentic or passionate about it. But of course it’s what mom and dad instilled in them when they were young. Go to school, get a good job with benefits, work there for 30 years and retire with a fat pension.
That doesn’t exist any more.
It’s a paradox of parenting because parents believe they are doing what’s best for their child.ย Maybe the parent doesn’t want their baby to be disappointed when they don’t become a rock star or an artist or maybe even a race car driver. They don’t want to see their child struggle or suffer through life trying to live their dreams even if it’s the most authentic action to the child.
Truth is the parent is projecting their own fears onto their child based on their own selfish need for supposed stability and benefits at a good job. Truth is this harms the child’s growth and well being far beyond measure. (Keep in mind the exact opposite is possible. A parent can push a child to live a life the parent subconsciously wishes they would have lead)
I myself am staying open to the voice inside and what comes to me in my meditations in order to live authentically and on purpose. I’m staying open and at zero state in order for the message to come through me feels right.
- As you read this are you conscious of not living authentically?
- Are you wondering how you could be?
- Or have you already allowed that voice to start living through you?
Inspire Others To Live Authentically
It’s interesting as to why we pay movie stars and entertainers so much money. We pay them to live out our dreams for us. I read that somewhere lately and I can’t remember where or I’d reference it. So very true though. We live through their lives.
Being a musician myself I can so relate to living authentically and knowing when I’m not. Playing music for me, writing what I wanted for me and expressing myself unconditionally was key. Bad notes and all lol. It didn’t come without it’s own set of challenges but was well worth it because it felt right.
Today I find myself on a different stage and so could you. My writing and blog videos here are my new expression and serve to inspire people and it feels good. The emails I receive from all over the world and comments here serve as a reminder I’m creating value for others. I don’t require the validation because it feels right anyway.
So I’m curious, when do you feel the most authentic and what are you doing when you do?
- Is it when you write?
- Is it when you play music?
- Is it when you’re parenting?
- Is it when you’re nurturing your spouse?
- Is it when you’re teaching?
- Is it while building a specific kind of business or brand?
- Is it during meditation or yoga?
- Is it while playing a sport?
The list could be endless. Leave a comment below on when you feel the most authentic because you never know who will be reading and who you will touch with your message. That would feel good wouldn’t it? ๐
When I’m usually most authentic is when I’m connecting deeply with someone else.
Less often connecting deeply with my own stuff (eg. journalling)
When I’m usually most authentic is when I’m connecting deeply with someone else.
Less often connecting deeply with my own stuff (eg. journalling)
Interesting Feedback Evan. Have you considered that the less you’re connected to your own stuff (like journalling) do you think there could be a connection with your disconnection of marketing your work? Just a thought to consider my friend ๐ How is the marketing side coming?
Interesting Feedback Evan. Have you considered that the less you’re connected to your own stuff (like journalling) do you think there could be a connection with your disconnection of marketing your work? Just a thought to consider my friend ๐ How is the marketing side coming?
Tony:
Great information as always!!,,,Again I printed this off & took it to my local starbucks to really marinate on thse concepts as your writing always seems to resonate with me!!:-)
Just a few comments,,,,
You said “I've OPENED myself to really understand,,,”
In my opinion this is where REAL Authenticity must BEGIN,,,I know for me I did not see any real growth in my own life till I made that decision 7-8 years ago “To Leave no stone unturned” in what I now call “My Search for Significance”. in my search for Realness & Truth I became willing to Question & examine all I was taught & held as a belief or value up to that point in my life. I wanted to come to a place where I believed what I believed ,not because my Parents, A Professor,My Church Denomination, my friends, etc. told me something was true but because in my Heart (at least for me) I knew it was so . Some 'baggage' I discarded & there are some new concepts I have added & yet I would say most of my Beliefs & core Values remain the same, & if anything are stronger.
I would add two more points about being 'OPEN' & that is this,,,1) I believe to continue to grow one must CONTINUALLY examine & seek Truth,,,we will never arrive & I believe we are always (or should always be) evolving & growing.If we ever think we 'have arrived' ,I believe we are in danger of becoming STAGNATE & stunting or closing off further growth as a person, as Earl Nightengale said “Success is a Progressive Realization of a Worthy Ideal.” I think being Authentic & Successful are Synonymous. 2.) I also believe as a Person, all of us are BIASED about ourselves…meaning as the Bible says “We are deceitful” ,,,we think more highly or better about ourselves than we should,,,we tend not to see our own faults (we are to 'close' to us:-))
So If we really Desire openess & Transparency I think we need to careully bring into our lives what I call “Accountability Partners” to help us see what we may not be able to see,,,I believe Proverbs referred to this in regard to men “As Iron Sharpening Iron”…in my life I have been sharpened a lot,,,it has not always been enjoyable but IT HAS BEEN Rewarding!
At any rate, I have much more to comment on your post, It was 4 pages & I'm not even done commenting on page one..I am too verbose:-) Perhaps another time!
I need to conclude my thoughts so I can take a look at the Steve Pavlina videos:-) Thank you so much Tony, for being AUTHENTIC & sharing with us!
Matt Geib The Great:-)
Matt my friend as always great insights. I'm so glad to see you run with
these posts with your own fresh perspective and share it here.
As I read your insights I really come to understand by being authentic &
open you have to let go and trust in all things meant to be. I trust that
what we share here today is meant for someone to stumble across and impact
their lives or in our case sharpen them in there moment of need.
It's funny, I actually have that proverb hanging on my wall right now in my
office. “As Iron Sharpens Iron so one man sharpens another.”-Proverbs 27:17
You my friend continually sharpen me through your feedback and insights and
it's much appreciated. I look forward to you sharing more. You have enough
content to start your own blog ๐
Your friend in Success & Spirit
TONY:
2 quick things(actually 3:-)) FIRST: Thank you for your kind words they mean more to me than you know:-) , I hope you do not think this sounds wierd(& I mean this in a good way) I feel a special 'connection' to you
SECONDLY: When I read this post the 1st day you put it out I sent you two Blog posts I had written last year (The # One Law of Being & Unleashing yourself upon the world ) wondering if you received them & what you thot if you did…I sent them thru the “contact you” part of your blog
THIRDLY: I would like to invite you to be a part of our “Business Builders Workshop Roundtable”…last time I invited you was short notice,,,anyway this time will be 12/03/09 (9PM EST) we would sure love you to give your insights & 'plug' your new 'Blogging' class as well …I think we will continue discussion of “What should be a Person's real Expectations for an IM Business?” ,,,if interested I'll send you full details
Take Care
Matt Geib The Great
PS…I am in process of putting that song together for you…then will need to figure out how to email it to you:-)
1. You're very welcome and I don't think it “weird” at all man. It's one
reason I do this is to connect with other spirits as well as share my
contributions. I'm glad we connect and even happier to see you share your
thoughts on it!
2. Yes I got your two posts. I had intentions of replying this Sunday
morning which is when I do most of my writing now. I then just publish my
blog posts through out the week. Its the best use of time with the projects
I have going on ๐ Look in your email back tomorrow afternoon! However to
give you my feedback on them in word? “Passionate” comes to mind ๐
3. I'd be honored to be on the show. Email me the details. Let me know If
there's anything I can do in advance.
Thank you again for your contributions! Email you tomorrow!
I feel the most authentic when I’m following my heart. It could be while doing most anything from meditation to gardening to reading. The most important part is not about the doing but about the being. I planned for that kind of day on my birthday, which was in January. It was one of my best days…full of joy and love. Now, the trick is how to make that kind of day happen often!
Arlene, Creating Abundance Enthusiast
http://www.creating-abundance.net