Gratitude as an Attitude
This won’t be the traditional gratitude post where I only tell you to journal and recite stuff throughout the day so that you feel warm and fuzzy.
There’s nothing wrong with that stuff and it’s useful in supporting you but let’s look at play a bigger gratitude game.
What does it mean to be grateful?
“The state of being grateful; warm and friendly feeling toward a benefactor; kindness awakened by a favor received; thankfulness.”
The most common perspective of being grateful that I’ve had in the past, “…kindness awakened by a favor received.”
Now I’m not sure about you but many moons ago my perspective would have been, “Well who the hell is giving me something for me to have my kindness awakened?”
If your perspective is that your kindness has to be awakened by someone else, whether through a kind word, a gesture or a gift, then you’re warm and friendly feeling of being grateful would be dependent on something outside of yourself.
Your power to feel good about you and your life as it stands, would lie outside of yourself and um, that kinda sucks.
My perspective of gratitude is not just being thankful for who or with what I may have in my life, it’s the act of expressing my gratitude that is the secret!
It’s probably a fact, although I’m not sure where to research it, that someone who is grateful for everything within, around and beyond their present life, already is probably a hell of a lot happier and healthier than someone who isn’t. You know why?
It’s because their gratitude is usually in action.
Seeding Gratitude
Gratitude takes nourishment.
Why wait for someone to give you the opportunity to feel grateful when you can start by providing it to yourself today?
Let me explain.
We as human beings have 6 primary drivers that none of us can live without. That’s why when someone say’s quit worrying about what others think of you, it falls on deaf spirit because quite frankly we’re built to experience love & connection. It’s a need!
The top 4 are needs of our personality and the last 2 are needs of the spirit:
- Certainty
- Uncertainty (variety)
- Significance
- Love & connection
- To grow
- Contribution
You and I need to know what we do matters (significance).
We want to fall in love and enjoy the process, not just the outcome that process may provide (uncertainty is a code word for variety).
We need to measure our progress as we do it so we are conscious of our (growth).
We need to feel (loved) as we do it by aligning ourselves with others who we have a connection with.
We need to feel that we (contribute) to something bigger than ourselves.
Finally we have the need to believe in something (certainty) because without it we don’t don’t feel safe or secure.
Questions To Ask Yourself
1. What if you acknowledged right now that you deserve to discover what it is you are meant to give away here in this life time?
Could you feel grateful?
2. Imagine if you acknowledged that who you are and what you’re doing right now in this very moment in time does matter to someone?
Could you feel grateful?
3. What if you made a decision right now to start enjoying the process of doing what matters most to you?
Could you feel grateful?
4. What if you acknowledged one person in your life today that you appreciate their presence in your life? (when you’re dong reading this call them)
Could you feel grateful?
5. What if you started believing with absolute certainty today that your life is a gift just as it is right now?
Could you feel grateful?
You have the power right now to feel grateful, empowered and inspired. You can start today to purposely and consciously align yourself with your primary needs. It’s a lot easier to accomplish when you know what they are. That’s something to be grateful for right?! Ask questions that lead to feelings of immediate gratitude.
So this is where you write this stuff out everyday and remind yourself of what you’re grateful for. It’s easy to forget and writing in a gratitude journal makes a huge difference.
Gratitude In Action Is Giving
You can’t get past living average if you just constantly keep focused on where you’re screwed up. Somewhere along the line you have to make a decision to go somewhere other than where you’re at.
You have to focus on doing something much bigger with your life. You have to focusing on giving rather than getting.
In Wayne Dyers book Real Magic he mentions the 3 paths to Enlightenment
- Enlightenment Through Suffering– You have a bad experience, you ask “why me” and you look back and go, “Oh ok I get why I had to go through that now.“
- Enlightenment Through Outcome– You become aware of not not asking why, but now you ask, “Ok what am I going to learn from his?” You become goal oriented and you begin to seek joy from the outcome rather than through the experience.
- Enlightenment Through Purpose– You align yourself with your life task. Something bigger than you are. This requires you to give away massive amounts of value in whatever way that looks to you.
You see the first two paths don’t completely suck however they both require you to get before you are grateful.
If you live the “I gotta get before I’m grateful” paradigm you’ll end up living dissatisfied, unhappy, unfulfilled and you’ll always have a little bit of emptiness and remorse in your life.
Through aligning yourself with your purpose you give away value and you cultivate your gratitude over and over. You’re not worried about the inequities of, “Am I getting as much as I’m giving?”
The more you give the more gratitude you seed and cultivate.
I’ll be getting more into these concepts and how to’s in the new book I’m working on From Fear to Freedom. The idea of focusing on a life well lived is your own personal freedom.
Surrender+Gratitude+Being Present
Surrendering to this idea of giving cultivates gratitude allows you to be fully present in the moment focusing on providing value to those around you in the form of products, services, support, coaching or whatever else primes your pump.
What about you?
How big could you play the game of life if your attitude of gratitude was fueled by giving away loads of value?
Leave your comments below.
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Excellent post my friend. It stated what I have been doing that's helped shift my happiness into my own hands. It was a conscious decision to focus on the good (what I have) instead of lamenting the bad (the stuff I want but don't have just yet). I've found when you focus on the positive in your life, you become grateful and begin to want to give back..which perpetrates a good cycle since you get what you give in this life. Its not all a bed of roses and there are days when the bad weighs on me, but those are fewer and far between since I've started focusing on the good, being thankful for what I have, and trusting deity to provide.
I love it Jennifer.
We can't get well if all we focus on is how sick we are. It's on and upwards
time 🙂
“It’s probably a fact, although I’m not sure where to research it, that someone who is grateful for everything within, around and beyond their present life, already is probably a hell of a lot happier and healthier than someone who isn't’”
Dude you don't have to research it. It has already been proven. I just finished watching the documentary “10 questions for the Dali lama” and one of the questions asked was;
” Why do you think that some of the people who live in the poorest counties seem to be happier then some of the upper class of that same country?”
Dali Lama answered; Greed! When you spend more time wanting more than being thankful for what you have your soul will never be happy”
Hey I think thats the Dali Lama is a pretty good reference for happiness.
Plus using the 6 human needs as ancors for that internal happiness that you mentioned is great was to go about it!
Great Post Tony thanks-
Hi Tony, Great post! I really enjoyed reading up on this. Personally i found that giving myself Gratitude was one of the main boosts to me being free of my illness last year. It is a hugely powerful technique and it works. Thanks for sharing
Awesome Share Chris.
I'll have to watch that movie. I've not seen it yet.
Greed is the same as the “..it's the love of money that is the root of all
evil.”
It's not the money that is evil or in the case of the post, abundance you
receive from giving. It's the fact that when you provide massive value to
others for others, your wealth is a result instead of a goal.
Gotta love some Dali Lama. Thanks for sharing brother!
I'm a Reiki practitioner and one of the Reiki principles that we try to live everyday is to be grateful. When I meditate on the principles, I often feel grateful for my ability to give in addition to being grateful for the things I have. You make a good point in that our ability to give allows us to be grateful without something external “making” us feel that way. Even in our darkest hours, if we're living and breathing, we have the capacity to give. Isn't that something to be thankful for? Isn't that something that can lead us out of the darkness?
I love the feedback! You're absolutely right. Everyone moment is a moment to
be grateful for.
There is always a gift even in our darkest parts and moments. I like to live
in the light and I'm glad to be doing so with you my friend.
Thank you!
Tony, I can feel my heart open and lighten just a bit more as I read your words, Thank you.
Awesome Janice. I'm glad it has that affect 🙂
You're very welcome.
Another great post. I did notice that the happiest people on earth are the ones most grateful. Being grateful allows us to see how lucky we truly are in life. And showing gratitude to someone else could brighten someone's gloomy day. We must always remember to appreciate everyone around us.
Thanks for the great comment Megan. I'm very “grateful” for your input. 🙂
I've reached out and connected with you on FB and Linkedin. Hope to chat
with you more!
Tony
Anthony, last October, after my “failed” marriage, living with no income in my mom's house without a car (sold during marriage), I did a great deal of work on myself. The only thing I had was time, so I used it well. I became so joyous that I couldn't hardly stand myself. Gratitude was overflowing and I lived each day in a sort of blissed-out grace. No one could understand what I was so grateful about because to most I had nothing. But I had joy which requires nothing. Since then my “failed” marriage has become a lovely friendship. I have an amazing partner and lover who actually “gets” me. My business is growing and I have a home. Gratitude works!!!
“But I had joy which requires nothing”
I love that line Marryann because it's so true. I love your attitude of
gratitude you share and appreciate your friendship. :=)
Hi Tony, I just found your blog today, and I am glad I did, I needed reminding to be in the attitude of gratitude, sometimes I forget how grateful I should be and take it for granted, time for me to be thankful again for everything I already have, Sally 🙂
Im So glad to see your comment and share Sally. It's my pleasure be a
happy reminder. I'm quite “grateful” to to hear from you :). Thank you
for your share again!
Hi Tony, what an inspiring post! In addition to what you posted, I think it's important for a person to focus his attention on what he enjoys so that he can be grateful for it. A person needs to imagine the good things in his life, and learn how to be thankful for them. And by doing this, a person can experience authentic happiness
Hi I and thank you Kat! I agree. Our power of now is a bridge into the power of what can be. Purposely imagining our amazing future just rocks I tell you 🙂
Hi I and thank you Kat! I agree. Our power of now is a bridge into the power of what can be. Purposely imagining our amazing future just rocks I tell you 🙂
I completely agree Kat. The power of now paves the way to an empowering future. Hold in your mind the thing you wish the most, closer relationships, love for ones self, respect for life, more abundance and it will be. Thank you!
This is one of my secret ways, I sow the seeds… “the kids” and I (sometimes just me…shhh) write little notes on torn pieces of paper to leave around town. It’s our way of spreading love. We may write ~ you have a sweet smile~ or Your heart is dear~ or My what beautiful eyes you have. lol~ and leave it on the counter at the bank, or on the floor at publix or inside a book at the library. Its fun to know that we don’t know who will get our message, but it was meant for whoever picked it up. 🙂
I LOVE IT. That’s such a very cool thing to share 🙂
Thank you!