I’m Not Your Guru
As I seem to have been making this transition in life lately, (I’m calling it the big fat change), I’ve come across some very interesting internal dialogue that I had to share, something that’s disturbed me lately and has had me come to a revelation.
I’m not your guru here at Tony Teegarden Dot Com and nor do I desire to be.
So why do I do it? What drives me to share this stuff that I do?
- To get you to think and do for yourself?
- To satisfy my ego?
- To selfishly fulfill my need to give or contribute? (Bingo)
I’ve been doing a lot of reading on marketing, persuasion, cult like branding and spiritual personal development over the past year or two. What’s it all got do do with this post? A lot. Most of of the stuff turns my stomach if I have to be frank.
I don’t want to be responsible for your outcomes. I don’t want the credit for your successes or your failures. I don’t want to create my own cult of followers or minions. I don’t have my own religion, nor do I want one.
My experiences are my experiences and they don’t, nor should, they reflect any that you may have. Could it however, cause an insight, an internal shift and inspire you to dive into your own journey with awareness?
Sure, I can live with that.
Am I promoting anarchy? Absolutely not.
I’m talking about you being your own guru and being the architect of your own life.
Anytime you put too much stock into one person, I don’t care who it is, you give up your personal power.
The Guru’s Won’t Tell You This
I hate to tell you this but, there is no cookie cutter system for success for any of us. There is no one size fits all, personal development process. There is no one size fits all success system that is going to make you financially successful over night.
The journey for everyone is different.
Because we are all different. Different as in:
- childhood experiences
- different life experiences
- different friendships
- environments to operate in
This creates different expectations that we all have of our financial success, self growth success, relationship success or life results period. We have different expectations of how it should show up in our lives and how much, if any, pain we have to go through in order to get it.
Quite frankly why isn’t anyone mentioning this?
Why doesn’t anyone tell you, “Hey guess what, this may not be for you and you know what, there is a very good chance it won’t work for you because (Insert any reason). However, you may get a nugget or two that will help you connect the dots. It could help you get the complete picture. It could bring all the pieces together of who you are and what you stand for.”
You know why lots of folks aren’t telling you this? Because it’s not smart marketing they figure. There’s a good chance you won’t fork over your money for it, listen to it, accept it or do it because there’s no magic bullet.
Oh I’ve seen plenty of people part ways with their money in the hopes of a magic bullet of personal development. (Yup, I’m totally guilty) The very same thing they say you don’t want, they put full emotional stock into. Then they get pissed when it doesn’t work like like they want, or they get depressed and shove the latest and greatest box o’ stuff in the closet or shove it under the bed and don’t say anything to anybody so you don’t look foolish.
The bottom line is if everyone told you any of this stuff, you’d never part with your money. Period.
Is This Going to Contribute to My Personal Power
I’m all about contribution here at Tony Teegarden Dot Com however it’s not about looking to me as any kind of guru.I don’t want your personal power, I would however like to contribute to it. I’m just like you in many ways. It’s why you’re attracted to read my stuff maybe.
If I can help you connect the dots great, guess what? I’m still connecting mine. I’ll be happy to share with you how I’m connecting mine or how I’ve helped someone else connect theirs, and if you find value, then cool.
However don’t look to me as the guru. I’m just a regular guy who’s still scared to share, a lot of times, what I know. But I do it anyway. Last I checked that was the definition of courage.
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing“
Imagine if you asked yourself from now on, “Will this course, will this book, will this audio, will this seminar will this mentor session contribute to my over all picture of the life I am designing?”
What would you make it mean to yourself?
Here’s to living in your power, not the guru’s.
Good stuff Tony – I’ve been reading this book on the Enneagram and the authors touch on exactly the same topic. Most gurus/teachers write about what has worked for them personally, when in fact there are all the different Enneagram types (or any other personality system you might like to use), each with their own needs and approaches.
I think that for most people who are dedicated to their own growth, knowing about themselves via one of the personality theories is vital!
Good stuff Tony – I’ve been reading this book on the Enneagram and the authors touch on exactly the same topic. Most gurus/teachers write about what has worked for them personally, when in fact there are all the different Enneagram types (or any other personality system you might like to use), each with their own needs and approaches.
I think that for most people who are dedicated to their own growth, knowing about themselves via one of the personality theories is vital!
Hey Albert, thanks for the heads up on the book. Damn I love the personality system approach. I’m definitely going to get the book. Through a lot of my study of course in marketing & persuasion there are all of these “human triggers” that obviously do work. But what activates all people doesn’t always mean it’s in their best interest and serves the outcome they are really desiring. (Sure it make sales) The difference between manipulation & persuasion can be defined by intent however even then I believe there is no “one thing or person” that is able to be marketed to us as a *poof* [you’re developed] type of product. Always a pleasure and thanks for stopping by and sharing! I’m picking up the book asap.
Hey Albert, thanks for the heads up on the book. Damn I love the personality system approach. I’m definitely going to get the book. Through a lot of my study of course in marketing & persuasion there are all of these “human triggers” that obviously do work. But what activates all people doesn’t always mean it’s in their best interest and serves the outcome they are really desiring. (Sure it make sales) The difference between manipulation & persuasion can be defined by intent however even then I believe there is no “one thing or person” that is able to be marketed to us as a *poof* [you’re developed] type of product. Always a pleasure and thanks for stopping by and sharing! I’m picking up the book asap.
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I totally feel you (as usual) on this. Soooo many people, especially in my world of Internet Marketing, are looking for their Guru, their hero, their mentor, THE person who has ALL OF THE ANSWERS. Finding that elusive external fix or answer. And the not-so-great “gurus” prey on that. And take the same money over and over from the same people over and over.
But I do see this changing or at least the tide is turning. As people begin to realize that everything — EVERYTHING — they need and want is already there. Inside. Not outside. It’s there. We just need to go inside (which can be hard, painful, stressful, weird, awkward, slow) and grab it and live it.
You know I love you my brother 🙂
Alli
I totally feel you (as usual) on this. Soooo many people, especially in my world of Internet Marketing, are looking for their Guru, their hero, their mentor, THE person who has ALL OF THE ANSWERS. Finding that elusive external fix or answer. And the not-so-great “gurus” prey on that. And take the same money over and over from the same people over and over.
But I do see this changing or at least the tide is turning. As people begin to realize that everything — EVERYTHING — they need and want is already there. Inside. Not outside. It’s there. We just need to go inside (which can be hard, painful, stressful, weird, awkward, slow) and grab it and live it.
You know I love you my brother 🙂
Alli
Yes Alli I agree! There are lots of people I’m finding that are turning inward for the answers. The net has made it so much easier for them to amass. Their connection to divinity is and always has been there in that place. Slow up to hurry up my good friend has always said. Slowly, breathe and be present. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Much Love to You, TT
Yes Alli I agree! There are lots of people I’m finding that are turning inward for the answers. The net has made it so much easier for them to amass. Their connection to divinity is and always has been there in that place. Slow up to hurry up my good friend has always said. Slowly, breathe and be present. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Much Love to You, TT
Some marketers do qualifying of leads (ie. this is for you if . . ., this is not for you if . . . ). I like this lots more than the one size fits all approach.
My favourite personality type system is Myers-Briggs.
I do think we can give processes that will help people access their inner wisdom – though a variety of these will be needed to.
It will be a great day when we can share what we have learnt and no one is looking for gurus.
Thanks for this post.
Some marketers do qualifying of leads (ie. this is for you if . . ., this is not for you if . . . ). I like this lots more than the one size fits all approach.
My favourite personality type system is Myers-Briggs.
I do think we can give processes that will help people access their inner wisdom – though a variety of these will be needed to.
It will be a great day when we can share what we have learnt and no one is looking for gurus.
Thanks for this post.
I agree Evan. Some DO do that qualify them. (In my case i like to disqualifying them) I’m familiar Myers-Briggs as well. It’s very important to understand and be able to connect with personalities, or more importantly **People**
Unfortunately I’m not sure the day will come that all people look inwards for their wisdom but it’s certainly something to aspire to. Thanks for your input my friend.
I agree Evan. Some DO do that qualify them. (In my case i like to disqualifying them) I’m familiar Myers-Briggs as well. It’s very important to understand and be able to connect with personalities, or more importantly **People**
Unfortunately I’m not sure the day will come that all people look inwards for their wisdom but it’s certainly something to aspire to. Thanks for your input my friend.
Agree with what you say Tony. There is no one size fits all or magic bullet. Personal development (and spirituality too) is a unique process for each person. Each ‘guru’ is simply sharing what works for them – they’re sharing the ‘lens’ with which they view the world. Each person’s journey is unique, so to follow blindly is limiting because you’re walking the guru’s path instead your own path.
I think every person you meet is a teacher. Provided you are clear about your vision (the life you are designing), whenever you feel inspired by someone, it is a clue of valuable nuggets waiting for you. These nuggets are to be integrated into your own wisdom and bring you closer to your vision.
I love the powerful question you posed at the end of the post, as it is very easily applicable:
“Will this course, will this book, will this audio, will this seminar will this mentor session contribute to my over all picture of the life I am designing?”
Thanks for sharing your light Tony.
Peace & Blessings,
Andre
Agree with what you say Tony. There is no one size fits all or magic bullet. Personal development (and spirituality too) is a unique process for each person. Each ‘guru’ is simply sharing what works for them – they’re sharing the ‘lens’ with which they view the world. Each person’s journey is unique, so to follow blindly is limiting because you’re walking the guru’s path instead your own path.
I think every person you meet is a teacher. Provided you are clear about your vision (the life you are designing), whenever you feel inspired by someone, it is a clue of valuable nuggets waiting for you. These nuggets are to be integrated into your own wisdom and bring you closer to your vision.
I love the powerful question you posed at the end of the post, as it is very easily applicable:
“Will this course, will this book, will this audio, will this seminar will this mentor session contribute to my over all picture of the life I am designing?”
Thanks for sharing your light Tony.
Peace & Blessings,
Andre
Thanks Andre for the response man. I love your insight that everyone we meet is a teacher. Many people are reflecting our fears, our desires or our frustrations that we neglect to see within ourselves. There for we project them onto that person. Different concept for many people to grasp but one I do believe in. Many people are in our path to share a lesson regardless of their position. Good stuff brother Glad you enjoyed the article! Let me know when you post something new!
Love & Light my brother.
Thanks Andre for the response man. I love your insight that everyone we meet is a teacher. Many people are reflecting our fears, our desires or our frustrations that we neglect to see within ourselves. There for we project them onto that person. Different concept for many people to grasp but one I do believe in. Many people are in our path to share a lesson regardless of their position. Good stuff brother Glad you enjoyed the article! Let me know when you post something new!
Love & Light my brother.
This is so POWERFUL ” you put too much stock into one person, I don’t care who it is, you give up your personal power” SO TRUE!!!
I appreciate this post so very much Tony. I, myself, have been going through much a similar journey and this was truly refreshing to read. I once read before that “when you share your wisdom, experiences, and gifts to the world You are actually building a legacy.” I truly resonated with that and ran with that mindset with my blog. I was hoping to SHARE and SPREAD message of light & love. I do agree with you though that I’m not looking for cult of followers rather than being on this journey of learning and growing.
If you spell GURU backwards it is “ur are ur own guru” So Interesting!!!
I too am still connecting my dot. I am however so INCREDIBLY HAPPY to have found people like you that adds so much to this world.
Thanks for another incredible post!
I will make sure to share….
Thanks for all that You DO 🙂
This is so POWERFUL ” you put too much stock into one person, I don’t care who it is, you give up your personal power” SO TRUE!!!
I appreciate this post so very much Tony. I, myself, have been going through much a similar journey and this was truly refreshing to read. I once read before that “when you share your wisdom, experiences, and gifts to the world You are actually building a legacy.” I truly resonated with that and ran with that mindset with my blog. I was hoping to SHARE and SPREAD message of light & love. I do agree with you though that I’m not looking for cult of followers rather than being on this journey of learning and growing.
If you spell GURU backwards it is “ur are ur own guru” So Interesting!!!
I too am still connecting my dot. I am however so INCREDIBLY HAPPY to have found people like you that adds so much to this world.
Thanks for another incredible post!
I will make sure to share….
Thanks for all that You DO 🙂
So gad it resonated with you Therese. I’m very grateful for our new friendship and am excited for your many blessings that are in store for 2010. It’s so funny because this post actually scared the crap out of me to push “publish” on and it’s seemed to resonated people on a tremendous level lol. Just goes to say we need to walk into what we fear the most.
Thank you and much love to you my friend!
So gad it resonated with you Therese. I’m very grateful for our new friendship and am excited for your many blessings that are in store for 2010. It’s so funny because this post actually scared the crap out of me to push “publish” on and it’s seemed to resonated people on a tremendous level lol. Just goes to say we need to walk into what we fear the most.
Thank you and much love to you my friend!
Dr. William Glasser, author of many books including Every Student Can Succeed, spent years studying how people learn. He found out we Learn…
10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we discuss with others
80% of what we experience personally
95% of what we teach someone else.
I thought that was interesting……
Dr. William Glasser, author of many books including Every Student Can Succeed, spent years studying how people learn. He found out we Learn…
10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we discuss with others
80% of what we experience personally
95% of what we teach someone else.
I thought that was interesting……
Yes yes yes! Thank you for that wonderful reminder 🙂
Yes yes yes! Thank you for that wonderful reminder 🙂
WOW!!! Thank you Tony! This is my first visit to your blog and I love you already! You know that we are all equal and we are all on this journey together.
WOW!!! Thank you Tony! This is my first visit to your blog and I love you already! You know that we are all equal and we are all on this journey together.
Thanks Debbie! I read your “About You” on your blog (Actually a lot of your blog) and love the work you’re doing. Great stuff! We’ve got lots in common. I’m so glad you stopped by and connected! You so rock already too 😉
Thanks Debbie! I read your “About You” on your blog (Actually a lot of your blog) and love the work you’re doing. Great stuff! We’ve got lots in common. I’m so glad you stopped by and connected! You so rock already too 😉
Great post Tony. I just wrote yesterday on wanting to be needed. I realized that I need to acknowledge that desire so I can protect myself against doing things that aren't in my best interest just to be needed. Like you, I want to help people. Preferably, I want to help them help themselves. I'm seeing more and more that the way to do that is to connect with people on a very human level. I'm not finding help on my own path from people who portray themselves as having found THE answer. I'm finding help from people like you – people who can admit that they don't have all the answers and that they're scared sometimes to put themselves out there. Thanks for sharing a real part of yourself.
Awesome share. Thank you a bunch.
Everyone deals with their own insecurities and self image stuff. I know I do
just on a different level myself.
Being real is the only way I know to be. It works for me and I carry the
baggage around a lot less.
Thank you again 🙂