I Am But An Onion (And I Will Make You Cry)

An onion on a cutting board with a knife

The Onion And it’s Properties

The onion can be a defiant little thing:

  • The funny outer shell and a pain to peel
  • The enzyme that makes us tear up like crazy (allyl sulfate)
  • The horrid breath it gives us when ingested (chew a sprig of parsley after any onion-containing meal)*

But what about the benefits of onions? Onions are known to have strong

  • anti-bacterial actions*
  • anti-inflammatory actions*
  • anti-allergic actions*
  • antioxidant activity*

Which basically means they help keep our insides healthy & clean.

*Health Benefits of Eating Onions via Jonathon V. Write

Peeling Back The Layers

Well aside from the fact that on occasion I do make people cry, at least I don’t give them bad breath right?

So why the silly “I’m but an onion” phrase?

As I get older I become aware that it’s in my best interest to peel back the layers of stuff that I’ve accumulated over the years.

Sometimes I do it:

  • Right here on the blog.
  • In 2009 I did it with a life coach.
  • Many times I do it within my mastermind group
  • Sometimes I’ll do it with my closest and most trusted friends
  • I’ll write about these experiences in my journal

It’s tough to do, it’s painful at times and yes has made me cry.

Attacking an onion isn’t easy. Especially if you’re peeling back a whole bag of them.

Why do I fight peeling it back, even when I know it’s good for me?

Well like the enzyme, allyl sulfate that’s found in onions, we’re built to not always cope well with this kind of work & change. We have internal mechanisms that default our actions or thoughts to other activities instead. (Counter intentions) Some healthy, most not so healthy.

Oh and especially when dealing with a painful past. It causes us to bring up emotions that are painful, to re-experience occurrences that hurt and yes can make us cry. (Which is a form of release and I see as a good thing in many cases)

These reasons alone can easily be enough for us to sweep lots of our stuff “under the rug.” That’s a lot easier to do anyway.

Just Put the Onions Away-The Tears Will Stop

Sure you can put the onions away and say “fu get a bowt it,” but the meal of life just won’t taste as good.

I dealt with the under the rug stuff from my childhood because I was abused as a child. At age 8 I had 37 stitches to the forehead, missing teeth, a gun in my mouth, emotional scaring and moments when I wasn’t sure I was going to live till the next morning.

My great grandparents (Who didn’t do any of the above to me) after getting custody of me, put me through a lot of therapy afterwords and did the very best with me that they knew how to do. (Yes I was a handful after all that). As a young adult, little did I realize just how much stuff I had still swept under the carpet:

  • Anger
  • Resentment
  • Lack of trust
  • Low Self Esteem
  • Hatred towards my mom and step dad

I became a victim through and through even into my early 20’s. As far as I was concerned, everything was wrong with everyone outside of me. But it was really how I was dealing with everything inside of me that was the problem.

You may not have had anything as drastic as this occur to you or maybe you have experienced worse, the point…

….as hard as it all was for me to start, I began peeling back the onion and continue to do so still today.

It’s Time To Eat

Today, because I’ve gone through a lot of this work, I consider myself fortunate.

My relationship with my mom is much better today, my step dad and I have cried it out and I’ve let go of it all. Him and I actually had an amazing heart to heart just prior to my getting married almost 10 years ago. He shared the most heartfelt apology and to this day I still swell up with tears from how sincere he was.

“Today I am able to shed my light because I am not afraid to share my shadow.“-Me

You must peel back the onion regardless of whether it makes you cry or not. It can be good for you, and may be enlightening for someone else as you stand in your light, it gives them permission to do the same.

Today I am more able to:

  • Trust
  • Love (myself as well as others)
  • Feel true emotional freedom
  • See myself in a more positive light
  • Be more present
  • Connect deeper within my relationships

This could easily go down as one of the all time most retarded analogies I’ve ever made on the blog, but the fact is, it worked for me.

How about you?

Is there something you’re not peeling back because you fear the tears?

Is there someone waiting for you to share your shadow so that you can inspire them to live in their light?

I bet so.

Let go of the past, so you can be more in the present, it’s the best gift you can give to those around you for a better future. 🙂

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