Standing In Your Stuff
When you’re standing in the middle of your stuff it’s not always easy to access solutions to your life challenges.
Lots of people figure because I seem positive all the time that I never have a down day.
The fact is I have days that suck just like anyone else. I’m not just a grandfather oak tree that miraculously draws wisdom from the wind.
I go through life stuff too. (Duh, right?)
Fact is I’ve conditioned myself in many cases to shorten the amount of time I allow things to suck.
I am a constant student of:
- Self Reflection
- Loving myself
- Acknowledging I am deserving of Love
- Listening to educational material
- Aware of my emotional intelligence
I also have one other secret weapon that supports all of the above actions.
The fact is I have a small and amazing circle of close friends, mastermind partners and mentors.
There is a lot of trust that goes into these relationships and they also require a mutual respect for one another.
Most days I’m having a good day because I’m always looking to fill my emotional bank account first. Then I’m able to make as many deposits as possible in my friends/partners emotional bank accounts.
I’m always on the lookout to provide them value in some way shape or form.
- A kind word
- A piece of information that contributes to their industry
- An email/tweet/or Facebook mention of how much I appreciate them
- A gesture of appreciation (Gift, Card, Token of sorts)
- A hug
Lots of people take, take, take emotionally and then wonder why no one either wants to take their call or tends to not want to give them any support. Not to mention in many cases they aren’t seeking the feedback that could be beneficial to them from credible sources to begin with.
On occasion I’ve had someone close to me take too many with drawls and I’ve had to step up and tell them. It’s not always easy but I have to tell them or else I’ll have close their account. I care about them so I communicate it to them. Just because someone has been a close friend, it doesn’t give them the right to abuse my emotional account.
When you’re finally in one of those days that you require a shoulder to lean on or you’re really requiring some tough feedback it can make all of the difference in the quality of decisions you make moving forward.
That’s why it’s so important to have someone reliable to lean on that you can trust to look at you through the storm you’re standing in.
Standing Outside the Storm
I’ll be the first to admit that many times it’ easier for me to stand outside of someone elses storm and spot what’s happening that keeps them from enjoying their life more. Dancing in your rain is knowing you have all of this contrasting stuff in your life and living it anyway.
Facilitating this conclusion on peoples behalf is called coaching.
There are many times I’ve attempted and successfully accomplished this self surgery as well. And I’ve gotten pretty good at it.
But there are times when brain storming with others and success coaching has assisted me in finding the answers to questions I may not have been able to do on my own. Setting my ego aside and allowing this to happen was critical.
I really learn from everyone.
Even if it’s what not to do. I’m a pretty astute observer.
When you’re inside you’re own storm and you haven’t done the work to really understand what’s going on and why, you’re best bet could be a coach.
A coach is someone who facilitates helping you find the answers to your tough questions.
It’s someone who can be objective and not put up with your bullshit answers.
A coach interrupts you and calls you on your bullshit.
Fact is I’ve had lots of practice over the years of bullshiting myself and I’m good at it. Does my coach put up with it?
Do I want her to?
Not at all.
Do you have someone like this in your life?
How beneficial do you believe it would be?
You and I can be perceived as an island but all land is connected beneath the surface of the water. We need people in our lives to call us on our bullshit.
Dancing In The Rain
In the mean time all of the messiness that comes up in your life right now is there for a reason.
It’s a reflection of what you most see in yourself.
I know because I’m experiencing it in my everyday life as well. I put my pants on one leg at a time too. I’m no different than you. I just have some mental and emotional tools I’ve educated myself on that assist me in not pouting or rolling around in my stuff nearly as long as I used to.
The difference is I’m able to dance in the rain today. I’m not afraid to tackle the big shit that comes into my life anymore.
I embrace the storm 98% of the time and say, “fuck it, let’s dance.”
If I don’t embrace this stuff immediately that means it’s something I’m in resistance of. Today I realize the more I resist a particular subject the more it’s probably my biggest learning lesson.
That learning lesson could be the window into a whole new way of looking at life, experiencing life and living my life.
Believe it or not a new unknown life is a shit ton more scary than the world we wallow around in where we’re not happy. The fear of the unknown (even if it leads to a better quality of life) is scarier than the known. (Which could be a life of suck we’re used to)
Getting to the point of dancing in your rain, playing in the mud and realizing you can always dry off and take a shower, is a journey unto itself.
I would encourage you to take some steps in order to make that moment of clarity happen.
- Read Books that provide you insight to creating a healthy self image
- Listen to audio programs that educate you to knew ideas about life & business
- Watch programs or DVD’s that inspire you to strive for excellence in your self work
- Participate in new social groups that supports your new way of thinking
- Find a coach that doesn’t buy your bullshit & helps facilitate you finding answers for yourself
Is all of this work?
It can be. But none less than the work required to reverse all of the crap you’ll create otherwise.
The old saying:
“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.“-Unknown
Go ahead, you’re worth it.