Living Life Out Loud
Have you left your shore in search of growth and contribution?
If you’re reading this I’m betting you have and you’re on the journey.
For many, they haven’t yet.
They are fearful of what others may think of them, fear of criticism, fear of looking foolish, lack self confidence etc. etc. etc…
Here’s a question you’re going to want to write down and answer if you think that’s you:
Who would you need to see yourself as in order to make the move towards your dreams?
What does your self image need to consist of?
Go ahead and write out your wish list of amazing traits.
It’s not that you’re not capable of your inspirations, it’s that you don’t see yourself as the person who can accomplish them.
This is why one would lack or lose faith in their dreams ever materializing.
They see lack within themselves:
“I would add that you may say you want to have more talent, yet for your own reasons you began to believe in your absence of talent rather than the talent you have. When you begin to know rather than doubt your talent, you will discover the necessary physical abilities to carry out your purpose.” –Wayne Dyer, Real Magic
So again I ask:
- Who would you need to see yourself as in order to make the move towards your dreams and desires?
- What traits would you need to acknowledge you already have?
- What would be possible when you acknowledge these traits
- How would they serve you in moving forward?
Why Will Power Won’t Work
I love what Dan Kennedy says about the “snap back” theory.
If you take a rubber band and stretch it with your thumb and pointer finger, then continue to stretch it past the point of what’s comfortable, that represents your will power.
Shear will power to accomplish our goals is ironically the same reason so many people fail to follow through on their goals. It’s because they aren’t congruent with how they really see themselves and the will power is impossible to sustain over long periods of time. It’s taxing I tell you.
I know, I’ve done it!
Eventually you snap back to how you really see yourself and fall back into your previous routines and habits. Your will power fails you because it’s not something sustainable.
I know I’ve failed to acknowledge how I really saw myself, what really inspired me and when I ignored both, things sucked.
The crazy thing is until I got this, I would beat up my self image up because I felt I had failed. I felt that experience magnified the totally of who I was when In fact it had nothing to do with how awesome I really am, it just had to do with how I saw myself.
“There is a difference in distinguishing between you and your mistakes (failures). Too many people destroy their self image by merging the two.”- Charleston Heston
I’ve always known that if you’re not “failing” you’re not growing (or growing your business). Failure is how we get real world feedback and gain valuable insights, wisdom and experience. There is happiness to be found failure.
However the key difference between those who can make mistakes and not tie them into their self image in a negative way and those who can’t, is consciously acknowledging our self worth is determined by how we see ourselves, not our outcomes.
Guess what that means?
You can get after whatever it is you want and not worry that your results have anything to do with just how truly awesome you are. 😉
What are your thoughts?
Share them in the comments below!
When I fail and it matters to me (and sometimes it does very much) I can feel good that I can learn and recover. I'm glad that I am someone who feels things (even if what I'm feeling at the moment isn't terribly pleasant – actually bloody awful).
Tony Teegarden says
I agree Evan. There is nothing wrong with feeling what it is we're experiencing, whatever that may be. it's just not necessary to attach our self image or self worth to the outcome.
Glad to hear that you can feel good that you have the ability to recover.
I like how you said you're glad that you're someone who feels things…
Well said brother.
Ali (Soulful Body & Mind) says
I am kind of on the fence. I do think will power is beneficial in all areas of life. Using your same scenario, what if the person is using his will to sustain the image he has of himself? Furthermore, you can use will power to pivot yourself in a better position to reflect a new discovery of yourself. Just my 2 cents, not challenging your thoughts but merely adding on.
Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom , Sir!
Tony Teegarden says
It's all good man, The title was more figurative than definitive and I always prefer insights. These are only my perspectives that I've acquired and resonate with me as I implement them into my life.
My opinion is if I have to use my will to “sustain” my image I'm not allowing myself to be fully present.
I think you make a good point, hence we have the will to live, to pro create etc. It's when the will to sustain a self image that is false, (hence making goals under the premise of a false self image) that it's not sustainable and we “fail.” Then proceed to beat ourselves up over it.
I think Eckhart Tolle said it best:
“You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You find yourself by coming into the present…The past cannot survive in your presence. It can only survive in your absence.”
There's nothing to sustain when you are fully present, hence the will power isn't required to just be who you really are.
Thanks for making me think man and for contributing. 🙂
Marion Anderson says
Tony it is great to see someone acknowledging that you don't reach your goals by determination alone. We need love to thrive and it helps if we can love and encourage ourselves.
I really love the snap back and the music 🙂
Tony Teegarden says
Thank you Marion!
I admit I had a light bulb come on when I understood the “snap back” theory. It really resonated with me because I could look back and see exactly why I didn't follow through on certain things.
Goal setting is such a hot topic and there are a few reasons why many of us don't follow through on them. We're actually doomed before we ever start because of 3 little things.
I'll share them soon. 🙂
Thank you for contributing again!
Hi, Tony –
I am a piano teacher . . . but I “lack” the degrees and traditional training I “should” have. I'm working towards improving my credentials . . . but I chose to teach NOW despite the fact I'm not “all I should be” yet . . . because I know I am already enough . . . I have music in my soul and I am capable of inspiring my students to play with their hearts.
– Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)
Tony Teegarden says
Absolutely outstanding Marie. You see yourself as already being enough. That's all that matters my friend. So glad you are!
Your friend on the “Keys”
ateegarden (Anthony Teegarden) says
[New Post] Why Your Will Power Won’t Work ~ [link to post] http://friendfeed.com/e/088d7ddc-858b-4a5e-8e66-5ecb54895d45
– Posted using Chat Catcher