Social Media Blogging | Personal Development | Tony Teegarden

This is actually a comment response to a Guest Post at Goodlifezen on the subject, Irrationality: The Hallmark Of Greatness? Reading it first may be helpful. I tweaked my response a tad and did it up as a post for you. I thought it was kinda important.

My Perspective

My perspective is that many people have irrational fears that keep them in their comfort zone. To someone like you or I who value freedom over security that would seem, “irrational.” To the person who values security over freedom they believe our pursuit of freedom or innovation is risky and irrational. More important than classifying all people as rational or irrational, the question is what is their highest values and do they act on them consciously or unconsciously?

Human beings “are” psychologically hard wired for many things. Change doesn’t seem to be one of them.

Although it’s difficult to put everyone in the same box and categorize them all as rational or irrational. I believe there are a few different perspectives to consider. None are wrong. Everyone has their highest value they act upon, whether consciously or unconsciously.

What I do believe is true is that the vast majority of people don’t like change and don’t do it very well. (Or consciously)

It’s that hard wired thing right?

I believe it’s our values. What stands between intellectual understanding and taking action in order to create a transformation? Priorities, and those priorities generally will be based on what that person values most.

It’s only my perspective, that it’s the conscious effort of one who will accomplish their desired outcome of freedom more so than the person who acts unconsciously on their value of security.

Your Perspective

Growth & Success are determined by who’s standards?

Is everyone going to be a Walt Disney or an Einstein? I don’t believe so. There will always be a few who stand out and act upon their highest values and take it to an amazing extreme that impacts people world wide. However there will always be those who stand in their shadows rather than their light because it’s safe and caters to their highest values. i.e. Security.

You and I can make a difference by consciously acting upon our own authenticity (What we value most) and by doing so we give permission to those around us to be more of themselves. By exposing our own shadows and imperfections we step into our own light and inspire people to act “irrationally.” If enough of us come together and do this, we can impact the collective conscious of all of those around us.

Social proof is a powerful thing and and can work in such favor.

Two great examples of this right now would be:

Elizabeth Pots Weinstein-I’m Not Sorry About Selling

Allison Nazarian-Speaking In Explanation Points

Do what the hell you want to do, don’t apologize and you know what, you’ll probably inspire someone to say, “oh what the hell.”

If you read their most recent posts you’ll see exactly what I mean. Not to mention if you’re on Twitter, their #epicchat garners much of this philosophy and just plain rocks, even if it is just for moms. (Yes I’ll be eves dropping ladies )

A good question is, does any of this come across as rational or irrational? Interesting perspectives that may reveal what you value most.

Perspectives are powerful and made up of beliefs.

What’s your perspective?

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What I Let You See…

In my on going studies of psychology, spirituality, marketing and persuasion I find there is always a trail crumb to the story behind the story.

What do I mean?

I find there always seems to be a story behind the story. I’ve found this to be the case in many marketing campaigns, sales presentations, spiritual events & teachers, wealth building seminars, political figures and yes, even yours truly. (Hence why I see it, right?)

Simply put, I’ve been seeking truth for a long time. However If I live the truth then I am the truth. Therefore I no longer need to seek the truth.

It’s a story that keeps telling me to think for myself and believe in my connection to divinity. To go within instead of going outside. To shed the layers of stuff I’ve wrapped myself in over the decades.

You and I are source and don’t require a guru to symbolize that source after a while. You may require them as some sort of training wheels in the beginning but quite frankly you’d look silly still riding your bike with training wheels on it as an adult, right?

So why do I still at times? I find it is the social masks that I wear and I’m not willing to take them off very easily. Hell I’ve lived with them for years. I’ve practically grown up with them on.

You know the old saying, “What you see is what you get?”

It’s more like “What I let you see, is what I let you get.”

This represents the masks you and I still wear and are psychologically addicted to wearing.

If you’re familiar with the shadow work I’ve done then you know what I mean. If not then I’d suggest you check out The Shadow Effect by Debbie Ford. It’s all about the social masks you and I wear. When they do finally come off it comes off in a big spectacular way. (i.e. Tiger Woods affair as of late)

…Is What You  Get

Not living authentically and only allowing a little of me to shine at times has the effects of what I call, psychological constipation. (Yes I did say that)

You get mentally, emotionally & spiritually gummed up. When it happens on the inside you start to create it on the outside.

Why?

My friend Veron from ExploreTruth.com said it best on his Facebook profile:

“If you knew everything about me, you might just “un-friend” me – How much of this is real? Do you think folks would say goodbye if they knew the truth about you…your lows & your highs? Your worst moments and your photo-shopped life?-Veron

Holy crapola?! You mean someone wouldn’t like me anymore?!

Oh yeah, that’s why.

I find my energy, creativity & and desired life results get bottle necked if i don’t just be me. I’m still shedding my layers as we speak by the way and me is a pretty cool guy I’ve found. The REAL me. Not the photo-shopped guy.

One Reason Many Excuses

You can’t live in-congruent with who you are for very long. That person finds it’s way out some how. When it comes to the surface, you can push it back down but you WILL find your true self coming out, somehow. Whether  it’s erratic behavior, depression over eating, making yourself go broke or many other disorders.  Living a lie does express itself somehow.

An example would be you want to do something different with your life, like start a new business or change your trade. If you use the excuse that you care more about what the people closest to you think about you and don’t make the change because they think you’re crazy,  you could easily find yourself resenting those individuals and causing relationship problems. Or if you don’t you could find yourself living depressed or over compensating somehow in some unhealthy fashion.

“It only takes one good reason to overcome a multitude of excuses.”-Me

It may not happen overnight but you’ll look up and find it’s something that happened slowly over time. You may blame other things when really unconsciously you created the issue. You’re authentic self desired something different and you ignored it. Then this stuff happened slowly over time.

Question It and Discuss It

Now I’m not a psychologist nor do I act as one or make claim to be, I’m just a pretty observant dude expressing himself and his own experiences.

Just question these concepts as if they could be beliefs you hold. Or blow them out the back door if you feel they aren’t.

The first part of transformation is asking yourself what could be that isn’t.

I’m not hiding, are you with me?

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Nothing Lasts Forever

We are in this world to have many experiences it seems to me and being happy is a big one but it’s complimented (Contrasted is a better word) by our other feelings & emotions.

I call it being beautifully human.

The point where we love, laugh, cry or hate. It’s all part of being beautifully & human and living in the moment. It’s the ups and downs and going through the low’s to appreciate the highs.

One way is looking at your life as a movie and you’re the star.

To play your role, whatever small or large part that may be is your journey made up of your choices.

Sometimes, just maybe, you feel like you just haven’t found your script yet, right?

Introvert, extrovert, lover, fighter, adventurer, couch potato. Maybe all the above? I’m a little bit of all of them myself and more. It’s my many selves I chose to be any any moment..

Which one leads you to finding your purpose?

I’m reading a book right now that I’ll review in detail later called Chants of a Lifetime. It was sent to me by Hayhouse publishers. On occasion I’m going to review some of their books they send me if I find they resonate with me.  (Yes that’s my disclaimer)

The Movie Of Me

This book has a chapter that certainly did resonate with me and this message. It’s called the Movie of Me.

“Everything we do in life is connected to everyone and everything else, but because we’re locked in our own little world, when we reach out to touch another person, all we touch is our version of the other person and all they touch is their version of us. We’re very rarely really touching each other.“-Krishna Das

I thought that was so very powerful & true. Aren’t we all just caught up in our world, or our Movie of Me?

Quite frankly I don’t always see the problem of that myself. Focusing on my movie has allowed me to touch a lot of peoples lives for the better. I call it focus. On the other hand, I do question if I could play a larger role by truly opening myself up more and connecting with people on an even deeper level.

Connecting With More Than Me

I posted the above quote on my facebook page the other day and I had my friend Matt Geib ask a great question:

“SO just HOW does one TOUCH that ‘Authentic‘ person we reach out to & NOT just our VERSION of that individual?”

Here was my response:

My opinion would be The first step to touching the authentic part of other people is to first be authentic yourself. Suspend judgments. The more in truth you are with yourself and the more congruent your actions are with that truth, the more opportunity you have to connect authentically with others. Standing in your truth in my experience gives other people permission to do the same. You be real, they’ll be real.

Can you imagine what this would feel like? I do it here on my blog all the time. Open myself up like a book and I get the emails from people who open up parts of their lives to me that they’d probably never do otherwise. Being authentic works not only for you but for those around you.

I know some people may say, “Oh I can’t possibly make myself that vulnerable.” I say, why not?

We’re not here forever and nothing lasts, whether that be the hurt of rejection or the feeling or acceptance from someone.

Why Nothing Should Last Forever

If you get the chance I encourage you to watch the movie The Curious Life of Benjamen Buttons. A great line from the movie:

“It’s never too late or too early to be who you are.“-Brad Pitt

If you watch the movie, you’ll see just how precious life is and our experiences are. It’s the moments we live in and how much we be our authentic selves that defines the types of experiences we have while here. Contrast is part of being human. It seems it’s not until we look back on our lives that we realize how beautifully human we were (are) and how much opportunity we took to live it. (or don’t)

Nothing lasts forever and with good reason.

If nothing ended, like the tender moment of a parent looking into their toddlers eyes or the warm touch of your lovers touch or a gleefully spent afternoon at the beach with your family, you’d never have anything to contrast it with in order to fully make up the experience.

In what ways can you be more open and authentic right now in your life in order to contrast the moments of your life?

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Youth Wisdom and Personal Development

How do you feel when someone half your age is telling you how you can change your life? What comes up for you in the way of feelings & emotions?

Do you ask yourself:

• “How could they possibly know what I’ve been through?“
• “Is this person taking in consideration the experiences I’ve had and how could they possibly relate?”
• “Sure they think I can change, they haven’t gone through life yet and certainly haven’t gone through life like I have.”

Or do you say to yourself:

• “Well they do seem to have a fresh perspective things.“
• “The world is changing and the youth have a new way of seeing things, maybe I should look into what they are teaching“
• “They look to be doing OK  for themselves and what I’ve been doing so far isn’t working.“

We know youth can lead to inspiration and innovation but is it simply because they don’t have the baggage that someone older has in the way of experiences & limiting beliefs?

Do you listen and review if what they share in the way of philosophies, systems, implementation & results makes sense?

Are you being objective when you ask yourself these questions and if so what’s your take on it?

Comment below…

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The Ideal Level Of Learning

Where does the learning stop and the living begin?

Well of course we know learning never really stops. At least if you want to keep growing, you’ll want to always keep learning.

So how do you maintain the student factor and implement the new found info with a busy life, running a business or having a job?

I have to give credit to Eben Pagan who talks about 3 levels of learning:

1. Insight-Insight is where you intellectually get something. This may sound like, “ahhh I get it now.” Or “Nooow it makes sense.” You get it mentally however it isn’t really learned it’s just intellectually understood.
2. Action- This is where you put your new found insight into action. You take action on it and get real world feedback. It’s starts in our physiology and begins to transfer into emotional change.
3. Transformation-This is when you change your self image. When you begin to see yourself differently your behaviors change and many things happen on their own, like further insights and actions.

Breaking Down The Levels

1. Insight for many of us this may be reading a book, going through a seminar or listening to audio’s. For some it may be going through a class or a course in college or a school. These  are common ways of consuming content that you and I feel may educate us to an end result. I’ve listened to thousands of hours of audios, read hundreds of books and been to lots more seminars than I can count right now as of this writing.

All for what?

Insight which would bring me clarity on a particular subject or process.

I know for me I completely confused knowledge with wisdom for years. Just because I had an insight and could maybe spout it off, (Which made me sound wise) I really had nothing more than the knowledge. Knowledge is organized data, nothing more. This is why scholars and professors aren’t running businesses, because it takes more than theory and knowledge to have real world experiences & get results.

Although knowledge can be power, its only powerful if you do something with it.

2. Action-This can be the scariest part for you and I. Putting new found knowledge into action. I see it every day with people in my business that I’m coaching. So what is it that can lead a person to be motivated to take action?

“The hidden component between insight and action is priorities.”-Wyatt Woodsmall

How do you know what your priority is? Whatever you hold as your highest value.

What is your highest values? Here is a list of value(s) to choose from. Take some time to list out what is most important to you. These are just few of mine:

• contribution
• adventure
• awareness
• consciousness
• creativity
• empathy

Now ask yourself, is what you’re today, align with the values that you just listed out? This may point out why you’re not living at your peak potential. You’re values don’t align with what you’re doing.

What are you most passionate about and how does it align with your values you listed out?

Now that you’ve listed out your passion(s) that are aligned with your highest values, plan and take physical action on them. Then wait for feedback from the world. (This is very condensed and could be a post unto itself which I will do later)

Tony Robbins even mentions the fact that if you want to change your psychology you must change your physiology. Motion creates emotion.

3. Transformation-I thought this was a profound aspect of what Eben talks about. When I blogged about What About You Do You Believe, I was really talking about your self image. How do you see yourself?  Look at the folks I featured in that post and you get some idea of how they see themselves. It’s reflected in how they are projecting themselves through their marketing. Hence why I believe these people to be so authentic in their behaviors & missions.

Keep in mind these people I featured started because they saw themselves differently. They transformed from the inside.

They are no longer operating from just insights they had but operating from the results of the actions they have taken and real world feedback they have received.

Like Einstein says, once your mind has stretched it can’t go back. You operate from a completely higher level of consciousness.

I have to say that based on these 3 levels, I’ve bounced back and forth between level 1 and 2 quite a bit before I found myself breaking through to step 3. I’m still going through much exploration and experimenting on myself as I’m making many personal breakthroughs lately.

How have you found yourself going from insight to transformation of self? Differently, similarly?

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