The Art of Thinking Money Doesn’t Matter
Yup, another blog title to capture the heart of America. Sex and Money. Unless of course masturbation isn’t exactly sex, but I digress already.
The point of this post? There are two really:
- To address the reasons we bullshit ourselves around money.
- To open our minds to the idea of tying money into our highest values so we can accomplish more of what we want out of life. This way instead of seeing money as a hurdle we wield it as a tool.
Now before you think I’m evil and feel I’m saying money is above all else, I want to be clear:
This post is about consciously valuing money.
I’ve done a lot of work with people over the past 17 years and I’ve come to the conclusion the general public mentally masturbates around the concept of money. By mentally masturbate I mean they say money is important and they want more of it in their lives but they do and say so many things that contradict themselves and keep money out of their lives.
They use language like:
- The rich keep get’n richer and the poor keep get’n poorer
- The little guy just can’t get ahead these days
- The lottery is up to 125 Million this week, I better play!
- Money isn’t that important
- How can you make any money in this economy
I’m going to push the envelope on this subject because well, I’m just gonna.
Money, Motivation and Inspiration
I’ve come to the conclusion that everything surrounding motivation vs inspiration ties directly back to our core values. Our core values drive our behaviors. If we want to change our behavior we need to consciously identify or re-evaluate our values.
You need to know yourself.
- Inspiration is when you take action on things that matter most to you. No one needs to tell you to do it.
- Motivation is when you need outside influence to get you to do something that isn’t important to you.
What we value most in life we act upon and requires no outside motivation. I believe it really is that simple.
Again it’s important to know yourself and what you hold most valuable in your mind. Even if that means acknowledging consciously that money isn’t that important. That also means to stop bitching about life circumstances where money is involved or a lack there of.
If you find yourself going into resistance from reading this post, then something about it goes against your highest values. No sweat, just attempt to stay open for a bit longer. If it resonates with you and you find it making sense, then it resonates with your highest values.
If you say you want more money in your savings but you don’t have it, it’s probably because saving money isn’t something you value as highly as whatever it is you did spend your money on.
Now don’t let that piss you off. (Or do) I’m not projecting my value of money onto those that don’t value it highly. I’m just stating what seems to me, is a fact. If you want to keep mentally masturbating around the subject be my guest. But if you say you want more money in your life but are doing everything but, then you may want to crack open a can of consciousness and read further.
Intention + mechanism= Result
If it’s your intention to save more money, you’ll find the mechanism in which to do it. You will save however little you can in the beginning, even it’s just $5.00 a month. This is exercising your savings muscle.
You can gauge your intension ultimately by your results. If you said 5 years ago you’d have $10,000 in savings today but you don’t, then it wasn’t really your intension. Just look at your result. Harsh but fair assessment.
You ended up spending money on things that were more important to you and higher on your values list. This isn’t right or wrong, good or bad it just is what it is. You’ll just want to take responsibility as to why it happened and begin to wake up and take conscious action towards linking saving money to your highest value and cause.
For all I know the person who didn’t save the $10,000 had a child that needed emergency surgery and they didn’t have insurance. THAT is much more important to them. This situation is the case the vast amount of people.
Let’s face facts, we desire instant gratification as human beings so the money is spent on whatever provides us that in the moment. Again, it’s just important to not bullshit yourself on what’s in your highest values.
How could you get to the root of why you don’t have more money in your life?
- Want to blame it on the economy?
- Want to blame it on the president?
- Want to blame it on the fact we’re losing jobs at an alarming rate in the U.S.?
- Want to blame it on how you were raised?
- Want to blame it on something outside of yourself?
- Let me guess, I don’t know your circumstances right?
Good luck with all that. Those are not the answer but seem to be the easiest and fastest for people to grab onto. Stop watching TV.
My misbegotten beliefs around money have ran deep and narrow. Ranging from, “there’s nothing more important,” to “it doesn’t matter at all,” to telling myself, “it does matter,” but deep down I believed I didn’t deserve it because of guilt I was carrying.
It is possible to have a balanced perspective around money.
I have yet to find someone who wouldn’t like to have a little (or a lot) more money in their lives and ultimately for these reasons:
- To have nice things in order to make life more comfortable for ourselves or others
- To make things in life easier for ourselves or others
- To have new experiences
- To help people close to us and/or close to our causes
I of course could get into other reasons like status or significance, to attract the opposite sex or to get sex etc. but so far I’ve only had one person tell me truthfully that these are things that matter to them. It seems many people want to pretend that money isn’t important.
You can read deeper into the reality of consumerism and it’s relationship to status and sex by reading the book Spent- Sex, Evolution and Consumer Behavior by Geoffrey Miller. Good read to understand how we’re driven by status and sex as well as how we’re having gas poured on it by the advertising & marketing efforts of companies.
The more we hold others in a higher light than ourselves like, athletes, actors and sexy people in beer commercials, the more we try to own their values and attempt to live our lives by them. No quicker way to frustration than by attempting to live via other peoples values.
“Know thyself, be thyself.”-Ancient Greek aphorism
There is a lot of wisdom in that quote.
To know yourself is to be conscious of what you value most, whatever that may be to you. When your thoughts, actions and words consciously align with your highest values you’re are acting in integrity.
You have begun to awaken from the human dream.
How To Value Money
“Money is something that is important but it’s not that important.”
Imagine if you said something like this to your spouse, girlfriend, your mom or your brother?
“Your important but not that important.”
How long do you think that relationship would last?
Not long.
The same thing can be said about money. If you don’t value it, it won’t stick around long. You’ll continue to struggle month after month spending what you do have on things that are more important. You’ll continue to go work for it, spend it and go work for it some more.
This is when you find your business becomes stagnant or you find yourself with more month at the end of the money. There isn’t any bigger vision for you to move towards. So what does it matter right? Your current values are being met and as long as they are you’ll continue to stay where you’re at financially.
When you look at your relationship with money it goes back to your core values around it. If you don’t value it very highly there’s a good chance you won’t keep much of it, much less grow it.
If you want to grow your money into wealth you have to link money to the things that are highest on your values list. This is how you find the inspiration rather than the motivation to build wealth.
You can link building wealth to how it supports your highest values.
Here’s an example. List how growing your money into wealth would contribute to your family or your health if those are two of your highest values:
- When you create more wealth could you provide more amazing experiences for your family?
- Could you go on amazing vacations, provide some of the very best education for your children or secretly surprise your spouse with a 2 week get away to a private retreat?
- What would growing your wealth do to contribute to the family?
- When you create more wealth could you eat better quality food, take better care of body, get massages once or twice a week and exercise?
- When you create wealth could you contribute financially to greater causes than just yourself or a bigger vision? What would that be and what would it look like?
Any one of these could be a reason to put wealth at the top of your list. When you can identify your top 3 core values and link creating wealth to any one of them and how it will help you meet that core value, you’ll find yourself inspired to do the steps required. You will start saving some of your money, you will start a business, you will begin reading about good wealth building principles, studying wealthy people etc.
Until you begin to find a cause that’s bigger than yourself you’ll probably just stay comfortable or uncomfortable and make excuses as to why it’s not your fault.
The size of your horizon you see dictates:
- The amount responsibility you’ll take on
- Action you’ll take
- And effort you’ll invest
So think BIG. Don’t just think big, but think of how it supports what you value most.
A perfect example is Tim Brownson and John P. Strelecky from How to Be Rich and Happy. Their goal is to give away 1 million copies of their book:
===============================================================
One Goal,
Two Authors,
One Million Life-Changing Books…For Free
“I think I can speak for both uf us Tony and say it’s ‘Legacy’ with (in my case) a bit of ‘Significance’ thrown in. We both want to leave the place better than we left it and what better way than by positively impacting the lives of 1,000,000,000 people?”
Your Values Mission
I’m not going to get into values exercises and tying them into your mission here, although I believe they are extremely important. (I’m over 2000 words already) But I wanted to give you some food for thought.
Over the past 10 years I’ve had people tell me they wanted to start with my home based business and I’d ask they why. Nine out of ten times they would say, “To make more money.”
“Then sell crack,” I’d say, “That’ll make you more money. A good bit of money from what I understand.”
After they looked at me like I had a 3rd eye, I’d let them off the hook and would say, “Listen, your business has to be about more than just making money.” Sure I know you want more money but why, for what and what will the money support?”
“What greater cause is the money and your efforts going to contribute to? You have to be contributing to something bigger than yourself.”
Linking the money generating activities like to their their highest values was paramount for any long term success. Activities like prospecting, cold calling and going to training’s aren’t exactly what they want to do. But we had to tie those activities into what they valued most. Otherwise I found hardly anyone would do what it took to generate a successful business.
So the goal here is this. If you do want your desired lifestyle (which requires loads more money in your life) you’ll want to link your highest values to the activities that generate wealth.
Put it this way, you’re contributing a lot more to the world if you can buy the forrest as apposed to strapping yourself to a tree to save it from being chopped down.
- Identify your top 5 core values
- Identify a cause bigger than yourself that is congruent to those highest values
- Align yourself with that cause
- Put together a plan of action to the desired outcome
Just don’t tell me money isn’t important to you. I’ll know you’re lying to yourself.
Maybe you’re scared of the responsibility that comes with having a lot of money. I get that as an underlying belief too. I know it’s been one of mine. I can man up and say it. I can say I haven’t had something big to wrap my arms around and it’s one reason this post is probably just as much for me as it may be for anyone reading it.
Maybe you don’t believe what you have to offer is valuable?
This goes much deeper. One reason many don’t allow wealth into their life is that they don’t believe you’re worthy of it. They are carrying guilt around that says, “I’m not good enough or I have to pay the price before I can be worthy of money.” That’s come up for a lot of folks I’m coaching and in many cases they aren’t even conscious of it.
I know this is a taboo subject. You may have some values around the topic that I seem to be dancing all over but I’m not. I have though, purposely left some holes in this post for discussion. Plus the fact I’ve already written nearly 2500 words. However there’s a lot more to discuss around this subject.
Leave your comments below in the comments section. I’m totally ready for a conversation around this if you are. Also share this post on Twitter, Facebook or just email it to someone you think it may resonate with.
Hi Tony, I like your distinction between inspiration and motivation – motivation often seems to amount to being unkind to ourselves (“disciplined”) which I can’t really get excited about.
I like the idea of linking money to values and the bigger picture. One of the holes I think is that “Sh*t happens” – sometimes despite our intentions. I don’t think the results are entirely within our control (just mostly). I do think looking at results and learning from them is essential.
Thanks for the response Evan. Shit does happen I agree. That’s where I believe getting knocked doesn’t isn’t the same as quitting.
Shit does happen but we keep moving forward and doing out thing. Something like saving money is completely within our control. The benefits run far deeper than just having a “stash of cash” too.
I believe there are outside circumstances that are beyond our control, but we do have control over how we show up and meet those circumstances. Responding is much better than reacting and yes looking at the results and learning is paramount.
Thanks man.
Hi Tony!
As usual, good stuff! 🙂 And very very timely, for me too. As you know, I’ve been figuring out what my core values are – the part that you don’t know is that I’ve also been struggling with money and looking at how I can turn that around. I’ve been reading some excellent books on the topic to help me change my beliefs around money and learn to use it as a tool to help me get what I really want.
I love how you have tied it all together here, especially the part about linking money to your core values and your big mission. That is definitely KEY! 🙂 And quite interesting that both topics have come up for me at the same time. lol.
My horizon is getting BIGGER, and I am starting to see the bigger picture and bigger mission and how it links to my values. It’s exciting to see that there is more to life than just my day-to-day existence. 😉 I used to have that bigger picture, but lost sight of it somewhere along the way…
Thank you for sharing this stuff, Tony! 🙂
What an awesome contribution Jess! So happy to see you share this here.
I’ll be digging more into these topics in coming posts and I’m glad to see your strategy session was so hopeful in starting your journey. Discovery is awesome!
Love how you brought the idea of values to light here, Tony. Money is such an integral part of our society and individual lives, it’s no wonder people get all weird and masturbatory about it. One of my highest values is freedom (discovered through the exercise in Tim and John’s book), and I’m really looking at the ways that money can both contribute to that freedom, and block it.
Really appreciate you writing this.
WOW! another Thought provoking post!!
A thought comes to mind “When one stands for NOTHING, He will fall for ANYTHING”…It seems many folks never seem to take the time to really address their values , they just go thru life as the Apostle James said ‘Tossed to & Fro by the waves of life’ & going from one thing to the next,,,How shallow our society has become,,,is it any wonder so many have issues with money?…Money in its simplest form is nothing more than an ‘instrument of exchange’…we all use it to exchange it for something we deem as VALUABLE…so many are messed up by $$ cause they are not clear on what is VALUABLE to them ,,,I have been there, done that, & BOUGHT MANY OF THE T-SHIRTS…lol
I think maybe Pink Floyd was on to something about ‘Money’
Money
Get away
You get a good job with good pay and you’re okay
Money
It’s a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream
Think I’ll buy me a football team
Money
Well, get back
I’m all right Jack
Keep your hands off of my stack
Money
It’s a hit
Don’t give me that do goody good bullshit
I’m in the high-fidelity first class travelling set
I think I need a Lear jet
Money
It’s a crime
Share it fairly
But don’t take a slice of my pie
Money
So they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a raise
It’s no surprise that they’re giving none away
Thanks brother. I got a lot from Tim’s and John’s exercise too. (Hence featuring them as an example)
Ironic how Freedom is on my top 3 list as well lol.
Thanks for sharing it forward my friend!
Thanks Matt lol. Now I’m going to have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day lol. As always thank you for your contribution here in the community.
Edgier and edgier eh TT? Whatever next “How An Orgasm Is Like Your Belief System”?
I think I may steal you motivation/inspiration thing, I kinda like it!
Thanks for the mention mate I appreciate it.
You never cease to make me laugh out loud brother lol. Glad to reference your work man.
Twitter Comment
Money Masturbation Mindset – The Art of Thinking Money Doesn’t Matter [link to post]
– Posted using Chat Catcher
Hey Tony
This sounds a lot like the session you and I had! *grins* I do tend to need to be beaten about the ears with a concept many times in order to have it sink in 😉 I’ve book marked Tim’s book to pick up when my next check comes in. If it helped you get to where you are, surely it will help many. Thanks for sharing the link and this article.
It does seem “strangely” reminiscent doesn’t it? Lol
Truth is lots of the strategy sessions dance around this very post. Very
interesting huh?
So glad it was helpful and yes Tim & John’s books is good stuff. 🙂
You’re welcome!
Very useful post, Tony. Got met thinking. Have to figure out how to tie my core values with wealth…
Well only if the outcome is important to you. If experiencing wealth holds no relevance in procuring your values, it won’t matter really. But if you want a ban up lifestyle where money is abundant, then you’re dead on lol.
Sit tight, I’m working on something as we speak to help 🙂
Yup, definitely want the lifestyle of abundance ,travel, books, education, etc..So yes, looking forward to what u’re working on.
Very good article. Lots of good tips. But I think you partially neglect that value can be amassed w/o solely turning to money (although some of these would obviously save one from spending money). Not that you didn’t write of how priorities affect one’s sense of value, but there are many ways to obtain value w/o dealing w/ money (at least to a significant degree) and w/o necessarily changing one’s income. most of these, in my mind, can be classified as skills… learning to garden, sew/knit/crochet, bake, beekeep, woodcraft, etc. they might incur a small start up cost, but in the long run take very little from one’s income compared to fullfilling these needs thru dependence on others. and if one is successful enough at them, they can even supplement one’s income.
I would say “neglect” is a bit harsh considering the post was specifically
around “money” however I do believe I understand your perspective because
money may not be as high on your value list. Therefore you feel I neglected
what was most valuable to you. (Alas that sounds complicated but isn’t lol)
There is no right or wrong, only a shift in what’s most important to one
another. Lots of people “say” money is important to them however they “do”
everything other than focus on the strategies that will create an abundance
of it in their lives.
My purpose behind the post was to draw attention to that fact.
On one hand you have creating money through acquired skills. On the other
respecting it and growing it are skills as well. No different than say,
gardening, sewing/knitting/crocheting, baking, beekeeping, or wood crafting.
Can you supplement your income with these skills? YES! Can you make a living
with the skills you reference? Absolutely! Will you still find yourself neck
deep in dept even though you have this skills? Of course. Will you respect,
nurture and grow that living into a legacy? I say no. Not if you think money
doesn’t matter you won’t.
Perhaps I could have reframed the post as “The Art of Thinking You Can
Become Wealthy Thinking Money Doesn’t Matter?”
I think I could have and it would have made more sense. Thank you for the
reflective thought. I very much appreciated it. 🙂
i agree that ‘neglect’ is a harsh term; hence, why i used ‘partially neglected’. still, in retrospect, maybe not the most tactful… i appologize. and obviously to fully engage in our society, money matters. i just think that many people don’t develope themselves (lifestyle wise) and hence become more dependent upon the financial aspects of their lives.
No need to apologize 🙂
I do agree with you around the “lifestyle wise” comment. It’s as if they
become a prisoner of what they don’t fully understand.
It’s all perspective. Which I’m about to publish a post about 🙂
Thank you again. I do appreciate the different perspective. I feel it’s
healthy.