Personal Attachment
It seems a few people weren’t too happy with the title of the last post about money and unsubscribed from the email list.
A couple took the time to tell me why they unsubscribed.
I was even told I was “unnecessarily rude.”
Unnecessarily. Rude.
Maybe they missed the Unphucked Formula post or the 3 Reasons Not To Read My Blog Anymore.
Either way, normally in the past this would have kinda freaked me out. I would have felt insecure, wonder if I made a mistake or second guessed my actions. I would have had an attachment to whether the person liked me or not now or how can I make it right?
All of this stuff would have bubbled up, I would have disowned my message and I would have thought less of myself.
Did people commenting on why they unsubscribed make an impact on me? Of course, hence I’m writing about it. But it made a different kind of impact on me.
One that had me realize the shift I’ve gone through over the past 12 months and I got excited.
What About Yesterday
I’m not saying the past doesn’t hold valuable lessons. It does.
There’s a pessimist in all of us that watches out for us and I believe can be and is healthy. (*Read Learned Optimism) But when that pessimist gets a little too trigger happy with it’s pessimist pistol we have to holster it.
So yes, I stand in everything I think, say and do today and acknowledge the gifts and lessons from yesterday.
Maybe that means I won’t use the word masturbate in a blog post again, however I can’t guarantee that. 😉
Everything I write here has and does come from a very real place within me and I take full responsibility for it all. I don’t claim my messages to be for everyone, nor do I attempt to be everything to everybody. The messages are meant for whoever it is at that time. Many have found value, some have not.
Those that hold similar values, I mesh with. I just understand my values aren’t the same as those who unsubscribed.
It’s nearly impossible to evolve or transform when I hold too many attachments to what was, no matter what it may be. If I did, I’d stay stuck in my past story and constantly tell myself why I can’t do something, be something or create something that’s awesome. This has taken time, dedication and elimination of many old thoughts, behaviors and beliefs about myself.
I’ve worked diligently on replacing my thoughts, emotions and behaviors over the past few years with ones that do serve me in the now and it’s paying off in my outer world in ways I hadn’t dreamed.
That’s the work and it’s also the reward.
Making Space
Making space for what I do want in my life has required letting go of attachments to my old stories, to people and my expectations around them. I can’t control how people act or show up but I can control how I do.
“When all of your focus is on adding value to other peoples lives through your mission, you don’t leave any space for fear to extract value from yours.”
I’m focusing on something much bigger than just myself. Although I definitely am contributing to myself in very valuable. ways.
I make space for that new person who is evolving everyday through meditation, through healthy eating (I’m eating raw for the first time this entire week), and through physical exercise. I want to be at my best mentally, physically and emotionally in order to fully contribute my efforts to what’s most important to me.
Within that new space I discover qualities that before, I didn’t think were valuable. Today I realize just how important those qualities are and I see how they contribute to my mission.
If there is an action that’s required and I’m not crazy about doing it but I know it has to be done, I link the action to my mission so that it does get done. This way I don’t require outside motivation.
I realize what I don’t do today won’t happen tomorrow.
So I do it, dump it, delegate it or date it for when I will do it. This is what creates the space for you to focus on providing your gifts to the world.
What To Value
I value my truth and I value being able to share all of me here, not just the surface bubbly bullshit that is only part of me.
I’ve shared it all here, the good and the bad, in the interest of you acknowledging your best qualities. Qualities that inspire you to create something awesome and to work with what resources you do have right now.
I would urge that you don’t wait until everything is right to do what you love and don’t stop when not everything is.
No time seems to be the right time when you’re stuck in your own story of what was. Making space with what is currently is where you begin your work and discover the resources you do possess. You discover your highest values and begin developing your mission.
“Value what was, make space with what is and create what will be.” -kick ass this week
Feel free to share your thoughts below in the comments section.
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Wow, Tony… unnecessarily rude? Their loss… and thanks to them, you now have that room for people you can connect with.
I’m seeing this happen in my life on an almost daily basis – people who I once had a strong bond with are complaining about my behavior and bailing, while others who were just on the periphery are getting closer. It’s fascinating to watch – and even more exciting to know those people better who, while we may not see eye to eye on many things, are always learning from each other.
Thanks for writing this.
Yeah man, I dig that I responded rather than reacted. I’m not saying I won’t ever react to stuff, but it is fascinating to see how people show up in our lives. (Or in this case show up and leave lol)
I don’t judge it, and I don’t blame them. My language clashes with their values. I get it. Would I be lying if I said I don’t care that they missed the message behind the language? Sure! At the same time, how the message was delivered just wasn’t congruent with their values.
I dig your statement:
“It’s fascinating to watch – and even more exciting to know those people better who, while we may not see eye to eye on many things, are always learning from each other.”
How true!
Thanks for sharing brother!
You can’t please everyone on every post, so I wouldn’t let it get to you. Some people are scared to read the truth and they take it out on the messenger, rather than absorbing the good and leaving the rest behind.
As long as you are true to yourself and can be happy when you look in the mirror every morning, know that you are doing a great job, Tony.
Unnecessarily rude?? That made me chuckle, seriously. I would be willing to bet real money you hit a sore spot with them, so they decided the problem was the language not something within them resisting truth. I almost wish I could respond to them cause I have a lot to say on that subject…hrm, Must write that down!! Gotta love when responding to something on a website/blog triggers an idea 🙂
The short version of what I would say is this: when something offends or upsets you, take some time to evaluate why it offends you. A majority of the time you will find it’s hit a sore spot and you are either fighting the truth or have found something you need to address. There are times when people go to far or are just plain rude or mean…but that’s a whole nother concept I think 😉
Yeah, sometimes the words you choose are a little rough but your messages are rock solid. I choose not to focus on the colorful wordage but on your philosophy. Writing the way you do is a choice that you have made for whatever reason. It is how you feel you need the rest of us to hear your message. But I sometimes wonder why the shock value is important to you, why other words will not suffice. I wouldn’t call your posts rude and they don’t upset me or offend me. I often find myself LMFAO thinking “Did he just say that?!? OMG!! He has got some HUGE juevos!!! Oh, by the way, happy 1 year anniversary for us! =)
Thanks Karen. I know they are projecting, and whatever it is we resist, is what we most resist in ourselves.
I feel absolute kickassness these days. Thank 🙂
I couldn’t agree more!
By the way, lots of my past posts came from comments that I started on other peoples comments 🙂 I’m just sayen it works lol.
“Her Majesty” 🙂 I don’t do it for the shock value, seriously. If you talked to me in person or are ever one a strategy call with me, it’s how I show up right now. Maybe it will work whatever “it” is out of my system and I’ll not drop the “f” bomb. But right now I don’t have an attachment to it, some people do. I’m glad you extract what works for you and I know that whenever you participate in the conversation you mean what you say 🙂 I’m glad what I share provides you value 🙂 Rock on!
Rudeness is tricky I guess. On my blog I do censor myself somewhat. But I do think people have heard worse on public transport – and it doesn’t cause them to faint or leave in shock.
I really like the idea of making space for what is, thanks.
Yup I agree Evan. We’re all projecting at one point or another. Interesting regardless. 🙂
Glad you liked the concept of making space with what is. I think it’s something I’ll dig deeper into.
Be well my friend!
Twitter Comment
[New Post] Make Some Space For What Is [link to post]
– Posted using Chat Catcher
Good stuff , Tony. Have to let the old go..Thank u for reminding me,that one’s commitment to evolve, should never deter.
Twitter Comment
[New Post] Making Space With What Is (Offended) [link to post]
– Posted using Chat Catcher
Twitter Comment
[New Post] Making Space With What Is [link to post]
– Posted using Chat Catcher
Agreed Uzma. Evolving to me is super important. I got your back 🙂
“I would urge that you don’t wait until everything is right to do what you love and don’t stop when not everything is.”
….YES< YES< YES,,,,I let this hold me back for too many years ….These days I follow this credo "You don't need to get it right, you just Need to Get it Going!"
As Far as folks leaving your blog…TOO bad for them The Truth will set You FREE but sometimes Exacts a Lot of PAIN in the Process!…and as J. Nicholson said in a 'Few Good Men" "You(THEY) can't Handle the Truth!"
Also Tony Remember ( I am sure you know) You are only looking for Folks who are Looking(& wanting to REMAIN) with you!
You Rock Brother!!
Matt Geib The Great!
Thanks for your insight man. Good solid principles 🙂
I appreciate you too brother and look forward to more of your breakthrough success!
Hey Tony, just catching up after vacation and I must say,I am curious what post you wrote to turn some people away but you know what, it doesn’t matter if it was what you wanted to write about. I see some unsubscribe requests now and again from a post and I whisper to myself (not sure why but I do every time): “people are fickle!” and I totally understand that things change, people react, and get moody or just offended or bored for no reason. The trend is upward for you and you are a big success to me (especially your health path alone)!
It looks (from your pictures) you had a great time. Glad you’re back 🙂
Thanks for your kind words as always, you are a class act my friend.
Rock on #lovingrawfoods