Reviewing My Concept Of Self 37 Years Later
Today is my birthday, 37 years ago my spirit was born into this world through my mother Victoria Teegarden.
I tell you this story for a few reasons, but so that hopefully you reflect where you are today and give many thanks for the amazing miracle that you are.
“You’re concept of yourself is based on all of your beliefs about yourself, up until this point and time in your life.”-Wayne Dyer
If you remember I wrote a post recently about my experience with the I Can Do It seminar that was put in my path to attend.
In that event was able to see Wayne Dyer and hear a message that came to me, into my life and I was ready to receive.
My Mother’s Story
My mother met my father Nester Jose Novo (who I later found out, wasn’t my father at all) and at the age of 17 found herself pregnant with child.
Scared, confused afraid. I can’t imagine what she felt in those moments that she knew she was about to give birth to a life. The responsibility must have been over whelming. Her grandparents (My great grandparents who later raised me) urged her not to give birth to that bastard child.
There are a lot of choices my mother could have made, one of which was to have an abortion. Obviously you know she didn’t make that choice, even at the urgency of my great grandmother.
In a strange twist, of which I don’t know why still, my great grandparents ended up taking custody of me and raising me. My mother did what was best, and actually If I remember correctly, was forced to do. I wouldn’t remember seeing her again until I was 7 years old.
I later at 7 to 8 would spend about 5 months with my mother, step father and 5 brothers for the 1st time. Those 5 months I won’t talk about here for the sake of embracing the past and having my peace with it.
I’ll just say as I reflect back, I’m actually grateful of that 5 month experience.
Concept of Self Through The Storm
My life as I knew it after that 5 month experience did change. Because I changed.
My concept of the world changed because my concept of myself changed. Everything I believed about myself and my place in the world changed.
I was angry, pissed off and felt alone.
I can remember my grandparents telling me about 4 times in my child hood that they loved me, never a hug was given and proof of their caring was by “providing a roof over my head” they said.
You can imagine how it’s odd that once I moved out at age 18 that I was a loving compassionate and quite social individual.
It was my spirit is all I can say, it was who I was. Subconsciously there were trauma’s that lay dormant and was suppressed but that’s not the point. We all have a story we tell ourselves, about our selves.
This message is about regardless of what’s in between then and now, the miracle is you’re here and who you choose to be today.
The Message of You and I as a Miracle
Wayne Dyer told the story of how many of his patient’s would say their mother did this, their mother did that and that’s why they were screwed up. Wayne would tell them all to leave, go get their mother and bring them back.
The client would always look at them and ask, “why?”
Wayne would say, “So I can treat them of course. When I treat them you’ll be all better.“-End smart ass quote.
It’s insane to blame our past relationships or circumstances for who we are today just as ludicrous as Wayne points out above.
Our concept of self is a choice and that concept of self is what got you where you’re at today.
“It’s up to you and me to aspire to a higher level of consciousness & of our awareness. This alone has the ability to improve our quality of lives. To be brave enough to shine light not only on our own shadows but so that we may shine our light on other peoples lives!“-Me
I almost didn’t make it this party called life and it’s nothing short of a miracle that I’m here.
The same can be said for you.
Even More Important to Me Than Love Is Compassion
This is a Zen concept I’ve chosen to believe.
Without compassion I wouldn’t be able to love my mother today as I do, or my grandmother who fervently wanted me aborted. I love them both dearly and realize that through out the chaos my mom was going through, that 37 years and 9 months ago a miracle happened still. I was conceived.
A life was brought into this world, and it experienced (& continues to) a trial & tribulation that created the concept of self I have today. A concept of self that chooses to be powerful and yet vulnerable so that I may continue to be brave enough to bring my darkness into light for all of you to see, so that I may inspire you to shine your light as well.
My concept of self has delivered me to where I am today and it’s all been a choice.
I am grateful for my 37 year visit here where I continue to connect with you and engage as a loving guide and student.
I give thanks to my mother, my great grandparents and my aunt who all had lessons to share with me, even if I didn’t like how they were taught in the moment.
Inspiration and Motivation
I now see motivation as the ability to see an idea through to it’s completion. But inspiration is the ability to allow an idea to get a hold of you and allow it to use you; hence your purpose. I thank Wayne Dyer for this insight.
Through reviewing my concept of self and a little help from Wayne Dyer I choose to operate from inspiration & share my loving light with you
Today is about celebrating life, as I celebrate yours.
Take a minute to review your concept of self, is it celebrating life or pooping out of the party?
What do you believe?
What could be possible if you gave thought to different beliefs?