Fears Biggest Weapon Against You
Fears biggest weapon is rationalization. Rationalization is telling yourself a story and giving yourself a reason(s) why it’s Ok not to do something or follow through on it.
Example: I’ve been rationalizing why I can’t or shouldn’t make more money online here at the blog by creating my own products.
Seriously, all kinds of stories like:
- I don’t really have anything of value to share (That people would pay for)
- People are already doing what it is I would do
- They are already better at it than I am
- People would ridicule my work
- I probably would look foolish
Imagine that? I’m human too.
It sounds as if I have a confidence issue doesn’t it?
The fact is though my confidence isn’t the real issue I believe.
- I’ve spoken in front of as many as 15,000 people telling my personal story.
- I’ve worked from home for the past 10 years and coached tons of people to do the same.
- I started out my first commission job in high end retail sales at 21 and made a 6 figure income within 5 years with only a high school education.
Personally I think saying I’m not confident is a bit of a cop out. Even if I hadn’t accomplished any of that stuff It’s an easy default answer that I could easily tell myself but it wouldn’t get me any closer to moving forward.
“The only thing keeping you from what it is that you want is the story you’re telling yourself.”-Tony Robbins
The reasons behind my stories could sound like:
- I fear doing the thing and that it’s going to be difficult.
- I crave comfort in the moment (If I’m honest this one hits home the most)
- I make the thing too big in my head instead of seeing it in a sequence of steps. (Overwhelm is a close 2nd)
Your “thing” by the way is whatever it is you feel you really want to do but are scared shitless to do for fear of (Insert rationalization here).
You don’t have to feel like this anymore.
So then, we have two choices if we decide to move forward:
- Do one small part of the thing right now and then a little every day instead of doing the entire BIG thing all at once.
- or say fuck it and take all out massive action because, “your financial shit will hit the fan unless you do something fast.“
Either choice you make you had better do what I’ve done over the past week and put a plan in place and set up a system within that plan to abide by everyday.
Setting up Systems Destroys Rationalizations.
Definition of System-A Set of detailed methods, procedures, and routines established or formulated to carry out a specific activity, perform a duty, or solve a problem.
When you have a system in place you have clearly defined actions to do. Examples would be your morning ritual. Mine is wake, pee (TMI?), meditate, exercise, healthy breakfast.
Or the system could be embedded in your online/offline business and how you structure your time and the activities within that time.
Or hell it can even be your system in your 9-5 job.
Clearly defined systems (That lead to your end goal) can help you forget about rationalizing yourself out of action.
How powerful are these systems and do they work?
Well consider how many millions of people go to a job they can’t stand for years on end and everyday Monday-Friday they are right on time for their work day. They never skip a beat. Matter of fact they pride themselves on it.
There is a price that you pay for having someone else to define your daily systems. Sure, all you have to do is show up on time and get paid for doing your work. Sure there isn’t as much responsibility. But what larger price do you pay for not setting up systems for yourself?
There is a reason there are more heart attacks on Monday’s than any other day of the week. The price is people are living fucking miserable.
Not to mention you’re not living your truth. You’re not living your dream and you sure aren’t making as much of an impact on people around you as you could.
Yes I’m talking to myself thank you very much.
What if you were the one to set up your daily system around a newly embraced business life as a solopreneur? (Even if part time)
I’ve been working from home for the past 10 years but selling someone elses product.
Bottom line is though, both of them require a system in order to stay focused and on track with our end goals.
I’ve felt like I went from one fish bowl (Manufactured home sales) to an aquarium called the network marketing industry. In network marketing you’re not an actual entrepreneur in my opinion. You’re self employed sure, but you aren’t an entrepreneur.
Going from network marketing into being a solopreneur is like going from the aquarium to the ocean. You’re in a much larger space where it’s vast and deep.
The choice you have is do you jump in because of the vast and deep opportunity you see or do you refrain because you’re scared to death based on the fact can’t see the bottom? (Or see what the hell is swimming around down there that’s ready to eat you)
It’s probably a little of both if I’m honest with myself.
So how have I dealt with these fears?
The Single Biggest Secret
The single biggest secret to dealing with fear is to tell yourself the truth.
“Nothing get’s better until you admit somethings wrong and if it’s not at the level you want or that you’re proud of, it’s wrong.
Stop rationalizing and start telling yourself the truth. If you feel bad, you have to do something to change but If you feel good then you don’t have to change and you lose your drive.
Many people are constantly trying to make themselves feel good without changing anything.“-Tony Robbins (Get the Edge)
Seriously read that again. Let that one sink in. For real.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done stuff that makes me feel good in the moment so that I didn’t have to change.
What about you?
It wasn’t until the shit hit the fan that I felt I had to make a change. (Take action) Even if it was moving away from something that was painful. Now I can purposely move towards something I desire.
Giving fear a hug and admitting there were some things wrong with where I was at mentally was my first step in moving forward on my own products. I’ve got friends of mine that are seriously confused as to why I’m not putting products out to help facilitate people with personal growth and quite frankly I’m not ok with it any more either.
Like Dave Navarro from Rock Your World states when he started out personal coaching he wasn’t a “10.” When he compared himself to a Tony Robbins or a Brian Tracy of course his confidence was shot. He was a level 5 teacher however there were lots of people that were 2, 3 and 4’s that needed his help! It’s the context not the content that mattered.
Quit comparing yourself and use what you got damnit. (Yeah I said that to my self in the mirror today.
Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway
Once you get honest with yourself you can begin to use the pain you feel as a motivator. It’s a gift damnit. It’s not to be feared or shied away from.
My plan is writing my new book, From Fear to Freedom. Steps you can take to unphucking yourself.
My systems are in place to support accomplishing it and I’ll be documenting it here as I have the rest of what I’ve made through.
My biggest fear, will it bomb?
I don’t think it will bomb but even if it does, it’s a stepping stone of which I’ll learn lots of valuable stuff. What I do know is that my results if I don’t do it will completely suck ass. If I don’t do it that result is pretty much guaranteed.
- Get clear on what it is you want first
- List out your fears that are keeping you from getting it
- Get honest with yourself in regards to those fears
- Put a plan in place to accomplish what it is you want
- Set up daily systems that support you in getting what is you want
What if it From Fear to Freedom does alright? I already know it’s gonna have blips and blemishes and won’t be perfect but at least I took action and put out a product that was the best of who I was at the time that served peoples needs.
What about you? What is it that’s keeping you frozen from your freedom and what kind of support can we provide you with?
Leave your answers below in the comments.